Sportress of Blogitude

Holy Crap, Jared Allen Has A Twitter Account


I have a buddy that does some work over at Winter Park, the corporate headquarters/practice facility for the Minnesota Vikings. He was back in an area where the players were hanging out earlier today and he saw Jared Allen getting treated for an ankle injury. He was talking to some Vikings staff member about getting a Twitter account since he heard a lot of other athletes have been doing it. Apparently, the guy said he would help Allen set up the page as long as Allen didn’t tell anyone that he helped him.

Well, lo and behold, I did a search for Jared Allen on Twitter and found Jared Allen’s page. And if his first few tweets are any indication, we’re going to be in for a treat this season. There are only three at time of the publishing of this post, so here they are in their entirety:

Howdy, Jared Allen here don’t know much about computers except folks say you can find pictures of naked ladies on it but i’m a do my best.

hert my damned ankle in practice and it herts like the tarnations! like getting bit by a rattlesnake on your pecker!

nothin like sitten back and puttin on some Oak Ridge Boys and smellin your ball sweat. mine smells like skunkbutt

i told tarvaris that sometimes he acts like a crazy coon after eatin a bucket of fried chicken bones and now hes mad at me but I dont no why