Sportress of Blogitude

To Manny Ramirez, Life Is Like A Bowl Of Gravy

manny-picking-nose

As far as Manny Ramirez is concerned, mini-slumps, suspensions, whatever – ain’t nothing gonna break his stride, nobody gonna slow him down, oh-no (oh-no!), he’s got to keep on movin’…

Whoa, what just happened there? Sorry, things have been real crazy lately since Matthew Wilder became the janitor at the building where I work – the guy never shuts up. Sorry about that.

Anyway, Manny has been in somewhat of a slump recently, batting .167 with no RBIs in the past 10 games, but things like this do not concern Manny. Everything is A-OK as far as he is concerned.

Only hours after Manny Ramirez shrugged off the worst funk of his Dodgers tenure by saying he’s reached the point in his career where “everything is gravy,” the slugger homered and drove in three runs Tuesday night against the Milwaukee Brewers.

You know, it’s always a huge relief when a person reaches a stage in their life when “everything is gravy.” But what I want to know is what kind of gravy does Manny believe he’s reached? Is there some sort of hierarchy of gravies? Is country gravy better than regular old turkey gravy? Obviously, instant gravy, which in my opinion should be considered a culinary mortal sin, is the lowest level of gravy-as-life metaphors. And given his heritage, would Manny liken Mole sauce to gravy?

Man, I don’t know, but Manny’s statement seems to have created more questions than answers. Maybe I should give Wavy Gravy a call and see what he thinks. If anyone could get to the bottom of this conundrum, it would be that cat. The guy is wise as he is totally fried, which is an odd thing in of itself.

Huh. Speaking of fried and gravy, all I know now is that Country Fried Steak will be Weed’s selection for lunch, so at least that decision will not weigh on my mind any further.

For Manny Ramirez ‘everything is gravy’ [Los Angeles Times]