Sportress of Blogitude

Somebody Say Juqua (Everybody), “Juqua!”


Philadelphia Eagles defensive end Juqua Parker (pictured above, clearly giving praise to the Cheeba gods) was arrested early this morning in relation to a marijuana charge after a vehicle he was a passenger in was pulled over by police.

Parker, 32, was a passenger in a van driven by offensive guard Todd Herremans when it was pulled over at 12:30 a.m. at the intersection of Route 378 and North Mountain Drive in Bethlehem, police said.

The Eagles have a posed a 1:00 a.m. curfew so both players were not out past their bedtimes.

To make matters worse, after the car was pulled over and the police noticed “a small amount of marijuana” in the vehicle, Parker admitted it was his weed.

“Mr. Parker was in possession of the marijuana and . . . admitted to the officers that it was his,” said Lower Saucon Township Police Chief Guy Lesser.

Man, what could have Parker possibly been thinking? According to the report, two women, ages 21 and 22 were also in the car. Why didn’t he pin it on one of them? I’m sure they would have been more than happy to take the rap. Better yet, how about saying it was your cousin’s pot or something? Athletes use that one all the time.

In the end, I’m sure this will blow over and nothing much will come of it. After all, it was just a little bit of grass and who cares about that anymore? The only thing is Parker will likely have to enter the NFL’s substance abuse program, which means mandatory drug testing. Which kind of sucks, because now he won’t be able to smoke weed anymore, unless he gets himself a Whizzinator. I heard those things work awesome.

Police: Eagles’ Parker admitted pot was his []