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Off Topic: If These Are The Three Women You Choose To Have Affairs With, You Deserve Getting Your Penis Super-Glued To Your Stomach

Cheater AssaultedCheater AssaultedCheater AssaultedThis story is obviously not sports-related in the least bit, but it is far to good (and cringe-worthy) not to address.

Leave it to the fine state of Wisconsin to bring us this sordid tale. It has everything: infidelity, jealousy, superglued penis, the whole nine yards.

A married Wisconsin man who was carrying on sexual affairs with three different women has been made the “victim” of a bizarre revenge plot hatched by the same three women as well as his own wife which ultimately ended with his penis getting super-glued to his stomach.

Charges of false imprisonment have been brought against four Wisconsin women: Michelle Belliveau, Therese Ziemann Wendy Sewell (pictured above left-to-right) and the victim’s wife (her name is being withheld due to the man’s status as an alleged victim of sexual assault) in connection with their plan to make this guy pay for his wide-ranging dalliances. Ziemann also has been charged with fourth-degree sexual assualt due to the whole cock-gluing aspect of the scheme.

The women’s plot for revenge unfolded last Thursday at the Lakeview Motel about 30 miles southwest of Green Bay in the tiny village of Stockbridge near the scenic shores of Lake Winnebago.

Criminal complaints filed Friday allege the man agreed to be bound with “sheer sheets” and blindfolded with a pillowcase for a “rub down” by Ziemann. She instead cut off his underwear with a scissors and summoned the others to the room with a text message.

Ziemann struck the man in the face, and used Krazy Glue to attach his penis to his stomach when the other women arrived, according to the complaints. The man told investigators he also was threatened with a gun. Ziemann told investigators she didn’t have a gun but may have told the victim, “Do you know how much I want to shoot you?”

The initial goal of the plot was to simply humiliate the man, but the woman now face up to six years in prison for their actions. Still, if you ask me, they should be commended for super-gluing this guy’s cock to his stomach. Any man willing to stick his dick in any of these three women doesn’t deserve the right to use it. Seriously, look at these women: I’m willing to bet the only reason Ziemann wanted to irreparably damage this guy’s penis was because she has been missing hers so much lately.

It hasn’t been reported by the press yet, but I have heard from a reliable source that the final straw was when the guy purchased a Brett Favre Vikings jersey. That sort of transgression will not stand in Wisconsin.

It’s the same old story, really. How many times has it happened that an attempt at humiliation ended up with a guy needing skin grafts on his schlong? Really? No one else has ever heard of such a thing?

I guess things like this just happened at the fraternity I belonged to, huh?

4 Wis. women accused in lovers’ quadrangle plot [The Associated Press]