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Hold On A Gosh-Darned Minute: Riders Get Days Off On During The Tour de France?

2009-tdfmap

There I was, jumping out of my bed this morning, barely able to contain my excitement.  You see, every morning I rush to my computer so I can find out the results from the previous day’s stage of the Tour de France. Sadly, this morning, I was shocked to discover there was no racing on Monday. Much to my chagrin, yesterday was the first of two “rest days” during the three-week race through France. So let me get this straight – these so-called “world class athletes,” as people refer to them, can’t ride their little bikes more than 2,000 miles over a period of a few weeks without a couple days of rest? Talk about a bunch of pampered pansies. Jesus, it’s not like riding a bike is that much work. I just rode my bike up to the store a couple of blocks away to get a pack of cigarettes and I only had to stop and catch my breath two times.

Since I am so irritated right now that I can hardly breathe – it might have something to do with my 1/4-mile bike ride – who knows – I will now pass it over to S.O.B. Special Correspondent Jesus Quintana for his commentary on the Tour de France’s days of rest:

“What’s this day of rest shit? What’s this bullshit? I don’t fuckin’ care! It don’t matter to Jesus. But you’re not foolin’ me, man. You might fool the fucks in the Tour office, but you don’t fool Jesus. This bush league psyche-out stuff. Laughable, man – ha ha! I would have fucked you in the ass Monday. I fuck you in the ass this Tuesday instead. Wooo! You got a date Tuesday, baby!”

Insightful and provocative. Thanks for your time, Mr. Quintana. Have a safe trip back to Imaginationland.

Eight year olds, dude.

[Yahoo! Tour de France Page]