Sportress of Blogitude

Tennis

Dinara Safina Likes It On Top

safina

And I would suggest keeping her happy and letting her stay on top, because she’s got the look of a woman who would completely wreck you if you didn’t cater to her every whim.

Obviously, what I am referring to is that Safina retained the number one ranking in the WTA despite losing to Venus Williams in the semifinals at Wimbledon and not her preferred sexual position.

But seriously, this woman scares the ever-living shit out of me. I imagine that she would be very domineering and controlling in a relationship. And if you happened to disappoint her in the bedroom, one of those little heads like the one that emerges from the creature’s mouth in the movie Alien would shoot out of her snizz and bite your manhood right off.

You know, that’s a pretty far out idea. Has anyone made a porno version of Alien yet? Perhaps I should look into it, but even if I did, I have a felling it wouldn’t go anywhere. Ridley Scott would probably balk at the concept or insist that Russell Crowe be cast as a huge penis – which I suppose wouldn’t be too much of a stretch for the actor.

Booyah! With entertainment industry zingers like that, maybe I can be the next Perez Hilton, save for the “being an untalented and annoying homosexual that draws MS Paint dicks on George Clooney photos” part.

Safina remains on top of world rankings [AFP]