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Dutch Gymnast Yuri Van Gelder Claims He Used Cocaine “For Fun”

MILAAN-EK-YURI VAN GELDER

Meh, I find that hard to believe. Don’t most people snort coke to lose weight, to hang out with the “cool kids” or get back at their overly-affectionate stepfather? But not former world champion rings gymnast Yuri Van Gelder – nope – he used it “for fun,” and in doing so disgraced everyone with the name “Yuri” worse than when cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin got caught in a compromising position with Sam the monkey astronaut in 1962. That was quite the scandal, indeed.

He failed a drug test ahead of the Netherlands championships in Rotterdam last month and faces a two-year ban from the sport.

Van Gelder, 26, says he used the drug “for fun” and not to enhance his performance. At a news conference in Arnhem on Monday, he says “it was incredibly stupid” and apologized.

What was stupid? Doing blow or being dumb enough to get caught doing it?

See people, these are the questions that need to be answered.

“See, I never just did things just to do them. Come on, what am I gonna do? Just all of a sudden start doing coke just for the fun? Come on. I got a little more sense then that…Yeah, I remember doing coke just for fun.”

Speaking of questions, here’s another one that needs to be answered: why do you drive on a parkway but park in a driveway? These are the kind of questions that keep me up at night…that and the cocaine.

Dutch gymnast Yuri Van Gelder admits cocaine use [Boston Herald/AP]