Sportress of Blogitude

More Like “Star-Spangled Crapper” Amirite? Sheryl Crow To Sing National Anthem At All-Star Game

sheryl-crow-bud-selig

Man, talk about a craptastic musical lineup for Major League Baseball’s All-Star Game. It has been announced that singer-songwriter and Missourah native Sheryl Crow, who is about as relevant to contemporary popular music as a cassette tape, has been tapped to sing the Star-Spangled Banner at the All-Star Game next week. What gives? Wasn’t Joan Osborne or some other washed-up ’90s female performer  available? I heard Sarah McLachlan was going to do it, but she had other commitments involving saving a beagle or a goldfish or something and I believe Tori Amos and Fiona Apple are dead.

In addtition to the anthem, Crow will also be performing at a charity concert with Elvis Costello (okay, he’s cool) under the St. Louis’ Gateway Arch this Saturday.

But hold on, there’s more. Someone named Ginuine will perform the anthem at Sunday’s Futures game, American Idol winner David Cook will sing two songs before the Home Run Derby with 2005 Idol finalist Nikko Smith, son of Cardinals Hall of Famer Ozzie Smith performing the Anthem.

Wow. The MLB All-Star Game: Where Medicority Happens. I can assure you I will not be tuning in to any of these performances.

What’s worse is somebody named Sara Evans will sing “God Bless America” during the seventh-inning stretch, according to the Commissioner’s Office. Who in the hell is she anyway?

(does Google Image Search)…

sara-evans

sara

On second thought, maybe I will check out Ms. Evans’ performance of “God Bless America.” It looks like she certainly has the boobs, er, lungs to really belt it out.

So I had a change of heart, is that so wrong? It happens all the time to me when the blood rushes out of it to other parts of my body. You can’t fight the circulatory system, people.

Sheryl Crow to sing All-Star national anthem [Yahoo!/AP]