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Anatomy Of An Apology: Bernie Ecclestone Attempts To Clarify Remarks About Hitler

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Bernie Ecclestone, billionaire/Formula One President and CEO/closet Holocaust denier has gone on record as saying his comments relating to Hitler and the shitstorm of negative publicity and outrage worldwide are simply the result of a “misunderstanding.”

Misunderstandings and Hitler? Someone get Marge Schott. No, go ahead, dig her up. No one is going to care.

For those of you unaware of the controversy, either because you don’t follow Formula One or could give a rat’s ass what the opinion is from someone who walks into a hair salon and says, “Give me the Andy Warhol”, here’s what Ecclestone said that got him into such hot water:

Ecclestone referred to Hitler as ”able to get things done,” a comment which has provoked anger and fury from relatives of the victims of the most notorious dictator in history.

Mr Ecclestone said: “In a lot of ways, terrible to say this I suppose, but apart from the fact that Hitler got taken away and persuaded to do things that I have no idea whether he wanted to do or not, he was in the way that he could command a lot of people, able to get things done.

“In the end he got lost, so he wasn’t a very good dictator because either he had all these things and knew what was going on and insisted, or he just went along with it . . . so either way he wasn’t a dictator.” He also rounded on democracy, claiming that “it hasn’t done a lot of good for many countries — including this one [Britain]”.

I have to agree with him on one point: there’s nothing worse than a “bad” dictator. “Good” dictators, on the other hand, make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside about the methods by which they rule the land with an iron fist, take away personal liberties and ruthlessly dispatch any and all political enemies. Yeah, bad dictators suck the big one, that’s for sure.

Now on to the apology:

“I did not put Hitler forward as a positive example, but simply noted that, before his appalling crimes, he acted successfully against unemployment and the economic crisis.”

Yep, Hitler was all about the common man before his appalling crimes (did he mention that Hitler’s crimes were appalling? Okay, good), unless you happened to be Jewish, homosexual or not German. Well done, Bernie.

And now, for the money quote that should absolve Ecclestone of any guilt or wrongdoing:

Ecclestone said that it was never his intention to “hurt the feelings of a community,” the Bild reported. “Many of my closest friends are Jews.”

Bingo! He actually considers Jews some of his closest associates. For instance, his accountant and jewler – huge Jews – he’s talking Fiddler on the Roof /Woody Allen level of Jewishness here. One time he even invited all of his Jewish friends over for a late dinner party one Friday night – he even informed them he was serving his favorite dish: pork roast wrapped in bacon. Unfortunately, none of them chose to attend.

Great work there, Bernie. Maybe you should just sit the next few weeks out and keep your mouth shut. It’s for your own good, really.

Bernie: Hitler wasn’t all bad [Formula1.net]
F1 boss Ecclestone calls Hitler flap a ‘misunderstanding’ [SI.com/AP]
Marge Schott’s comments on ESPN about Hitler [Anti-Defamation League]