Stop The Presses! Coach K Is Duke’s Best Compensated Employee? Get Outta Here!
Who woulda thunk it, huh? Mike Krzyzewski is the highest-paid employee at Duke. No, it’s not the President, the Dean or the “fixer” who manages to sweep the many rape allegations made upon the school’s student-athletes under the rug – although I imagine he makes a decent chunk of change as well. Nope. It’s Coach K.
The school’s most recent IRS documents were obtained Wednesday by The Associated Press. They show that Duke paid men’s basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski more than $3.6 million during the fiscal year that ended June 30, 2008.
In retrospect, it should be hardly shocking that Mike K-r-y – no – K-z-y – no – K-y-z – fuck it. I spelled that rich-ass cocksucker’s name once -that’s enough – it should be hardly shocking that Coach K makes the most money considering how many dollars he pumps into Duke’s coffers.
Speaking of his name, I think he should do everyone a favor and legally change his name to Coach K, just like Chad Johnson changed his to Ochocinco. Sure, he would have to update his license and credit cards – but not his Social Security card, of course. Why? Because, as Dick Vitale says, “Coach K is not of this world, BABY!!!”
(note: the image used above comes courtesy of Steve Schafer, whose artwork can be viewed and purchased at the site Durhamartist. If you have to get your hands on a Coach K print, you might be out of luck. It appears that there are none for sale through the web site. You might just have to commission Mr. Schafer to paint another one. Or become an art thief – either way works)
At $3.6M, Coach K by far Duke’s richest employee [FoxSports/AP]