Sportress of Blogitude

Blatant Homerism

Yeah, Joe Mauer Is Screwed Now

sicover_062909_joemauerHere is how I envision a meeting at Sports Illustrated corporate headquarters goes when deciding who to put on the cover:

Executive A: Say, are there any good stories not getting much exposure right now in the world of sports?

Executive B: Yeah, [insert player name] is playing real well. They say he might be able to [insert record-breaking/impressive feat].

Executive A: Oh really? Well, we can’t allow that to happen. Put [insert player name] on next week’s cover. That’ll learn the prick.

If you have any ability to comprehend what you are looking at, you may have guessed by looking at the photo above that Joe Mauer is the coverboy on next week’s Sports Illustrated, thereby ruining any chance of his quest to hit .400 this season, let alone finishing the season with either of his ACLs intact.

Additionally, if you can read, you may have noticed that Joe Mauer is also featured in the cover story, “The Case For Joe Mauer And Baseball History”, which I’m sure is a total fluff piece about how great Mauer is, his quest to bat .400 (which shouldn’t even be a point of discussion at this point – it’s June, for Chrisssakes) and how he puts on a nipple vest to nurse abandoned kittens, among other great acts of kindness.

As you all know, the Sports Illustrated cover jinx is well-known phenomena, which in all honesty, has absolutely no effect on the outcome of anything, but goddamn, can’t they leave shit alone for once?

More nuggets from the Mauer interview can be found in the story from the Star Tribune.

Mauer, still above .400, grabs SI cover [Star Tribune]