Do You Have An Affinity For Gluttony? Then You Should Try The Josh Beckett Big Mouth Burger
Are you morbidly obese or hope to one day become so? Do you have a hankering for a big old greasy cheeseburger and have thirty bucks burning a hole in your pocket? If you’re in Boston, you better get your fat ass over to McGreevy’s sports bar and order up a Josh Beckett Big Mouth Burger. Named after the surly Boston Red Sox pitcher and unleashed upon the world May 21st to wreak havoc on cholesterol counts, this artery-clogging feast is described as follows on McGreevy’s menu:
Lettuce, tomatoes, pickles & cheddar cheese atop 25 ounces of 100% beef to make a total burger weighing 1 pound, 9 ounces in honor of Fenway favorite, #19 Josh Beckett. Finish this home plate-sized burger & we’ll honor you with shirt announcing that you beat this monster of a meal. In fact, even if you strike out & need a to-go container, we’ll toss you a t-shirt that announces the burger beat you! A portion of the proceeds benefit the Josh Beckett Foundation.
Mmmm-mmm! Sounds mighty tasty. And at only $30 to boot, you can’t go wrong ordering this gargantuan burger. My only suggestion is that if it doesn’t do so already, the Josh Beckett Foundation should provide free angioplasties to anyone who finishes the burger, since after dropping $30 to eat it, they won’t be able to afford the required medical procedure.
But hey, at least they will have a nifty t-shirt to wear to the hospital.
No word on whether Beckett himself dines on such high calorie, high fat meals, although it would explain his appearance at spring training last year:
Ouch. I heard that while Beckett was carrying the extra weight, his gut was affected by the lunar cycles of the moon. That can’t be good.
Beckett’s Big Mouth Burger [Bats]
Beckett burger brings the beef [The Boston Globe]