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College Football

When He Gets To The University Of Washington, The Kegger In His Residence Hall Won’t Bother Nick Montana, He’ll Be In His Dorm Room Masturbating

nick-montana

Man, did that take a long title to make that joke or what?

Anyhoo, Nick Montana, spawn of NFL quarterback great Joe Montana, has committed to playing college football for the Huskies at the University of Washington. Nick will be a college freshman in the fall of 2010.

The 6-foot-1, 185-pound Montana is rated as the No. 13 QB in the nation by Scout.com and had offers from Notre Dame, his father’s alma mater, as well as Louisiana State, Ohio State, Stanford, Alabama and Georgia.

As you may recall, Nick is currently a junior and plays high school football for Oaks Christian High School in Westlake Village outside of Los Angeles, along with other well-off and well-known offspring Trevor Gretzky and Trey Smith, the sons of Wayne and Will.

I’m sure when Nick first met Trevor and Trey, he said something like, “Hi. I’m very glad to meet you.”

(I’m very glad to meet them)

God, I loved that old Joe Montana skit from Saturday Night Live, “Sincere Guy Stu.” Can you believe video of that sketch anywhere on the internets? Sure, you can find a video of a woman blowing a horse while getting doubly-penetrated from behind by a chimpanzee and a mountain goat, but not a classic SNL skit.

Um, so I’ve heard.

Quarterback Nick Montana commits to UW [The Seattle Times]
Oaks Christian Has An Overabundance Of Famous Progeny [Deadspin]