*WARNING* *LAME HEADLINE AHEAD* On European Golf Tour, Tournament Cancels You!
Yeah, I have no idea what that headline means either. Just bear with me, okay? THIS IS AN IMPORTANT STORY, PEOPLE! TRY TO REMAIN CALM!
Alright, here we go. Apparently, there is this tournament on the European Tour called the Russian Open, which is held at the Le Meridien Golf and Country Club in Moscow.
Make that was:
Organizers have canceled this year’s Russian Open golf tournament after the event’s main sponsor pulled out.
Tournament spokeswoman Leili Koeleman says organizers were $992,000 short of their prize money goal after Russian property giant Inteko said it couldn’t fund the Aug. 6-9 event.
Heh. Pulled out.
Truth be told, this isn’t the first time an annual event has been canceled after someone pulled out – just ask Joe Buck why he doesn’t spend a weekend every May on Fire Island with Tim McCarver anymore.
**the above joke has been brought to you by the writers of the upcoming abortion of a television show, Joe Buck Live. Even they think it’s going to suck balls – just like Buck used to do to McCarver on those spring nights on Fire Island.
Oh yeah, too bad about the Russian Open. Huh? Where am I? What are you people doing inside my computer? Get out!
Russia Open canceled after main sponsor pulls out [Sporting News/AP]