I Get Busy, I Make Your Head Dizzy, I’ll Sue Your Ass Like I Was Billy Gillispie
Disgraced former University of Kentucky men’s basketball coach Bill Gillispie has sued the university, contending that his dismissal was without cause.
He contends that under that memorandum, he should be paid $1.5 million a year for four of the five years left on the deal. The suit also asks for an undisclosed amount of punitive damages, attorneys’ fees, court costs and interest.
One problem exists for Gillispie: in the two years he coached at Kentucky, he never signed the dang contract. Oops.
Further, being a shitty coach and underachieving while coaching in the pressure-packed environment like the University of Kentucky isn’t sufficient cause? Man, I wish I would have majored in “Fantasy Land Studies” with a minor in “Delusional Psychology” like Gillespie must have clearly done, because now I would be a big-time college coach and making sweet, sweet money. At least in my mind I would be. Remember, I minored in Delusional Psychology.
The lawsuit also alleges that Gillispie deserves pity because he left “a rapidly ascending program at Texas A&M” in the lurch when he moved on to Kentucky, and that “[h]e because he believed (the university’s) false representations to him during his negotiations.”
I wonder if those negotiations included details such as “if you are the coach of the basketball team, we will pay you for it. If you are not the coach, we don’t see really any need to pay you for doing jack squat.”
I understand that there are always clauses in these kind of contracts that provide for severance pay and other financial benefits, but $6 million is a bit much in my book. By the way, the name of my book is Man, I Wish I Worked For An Employer That Could Possibly Be Forced To Pay Me $6 Million After They Fired Me. Look for it at the finest imaginary bookstores this fall.
On the other hand, the University of Kentucky should have known what they were getting themeselves into when they hired this dickbag.
How about they give the money to me and everyone walks away? No? It was worth a shot.
Gillispie seeks $6M from Kentucky [SI.com/AP]