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Wake N’ Blog For May 27th: It Was Fun, But I Guess It’s Back To The Old Man And The Hickory Stick For This Goat

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NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs. Trailing for only a total of 20 minutes, 30 seconds in four games, the Pittsburgh Penguins swept the Carolina Hurricanes and out of the playoffs with a 4-1 victory Tuesday night. This will be the fourth trip to the Stanley Cup Finals for Pittsburgh and the second in a row under the leadership of Sidney Crosby, who bucked tradition and touched the Prince of Wales trophy after the game, considered bad luck by most NHL players. Max Talbot, Ruslan Fedotenko and Bill Guerin scored for the Penguins, with Craig Adams adding an empty netter. [NHL.com]

NBA Playoffs. The Orlando Magic are in prime position to knock the Cleveland Cavaliers out of the playoffs by virtue of a hard-fought 116-114 overtime win. The Magic now lead the series 3-1. Dwight Howard led the way for Orlando with 27 points and 14 rebounds and as a team, the Magic made a franchise record 17 three pointers. LeBron was great, scoring 44 points and adding 12 rebounds and 7 assists, but also had eight turnovers. Unfortunately for James, lightning did not strike twice in the Conference Finals as he missed a desperation 35-footer as time expired. [NBA.com]

MLB Recap. Zach Greinke was once again masterful, striking out seven on his way to his fifth complete game of the season and a 6-1 Kansas City win over Detroit. Eric Milton won a major league game for the first time in almost three years as the Dodgers beat the Rockies 7-1. Livian Hernandez pitched the first complete game for the Mets this season in their 6-1 victory over the hapless Nationals. Justin Morneau hit a three-run homer in the fifth inning as the Twins beat the Red Sox 5-2. [MLB.com Scoreboard]

No, really, that’s okay. He’ll just sit in the back of the pickup truck, tied to it with a three-feet piece of rope and spend his days watching his cock get smaller. After seven years of service in the British Army, Billy the Goat was relieved of duty last week. Apparently, goats’ inclusion in U.K. military ranks “dates to the U.S. Revolutionary War when a wild goat wandered onto a battlefield and ended up leading the regimental colors at the end of a battle.” Sure, it’s a nice gig, but all Billy really wants to do is go the Ragu Festival. Crank it up, fuckers. [MSNBC/AP]