Sportress of Blogitude

At This Point, I Don’t Think Canseco Could Even Beat The Guy Who Portrayed Long Duk Dong In A Fight



Jose Canseco got his ass kicked handily by Hong Man Choi in a MMA fight in Japan early this morning. The referee stopped the fight 1 minute, 17 seconds into the first round as Choi pummeled Canseco with blows to the head. Awesome. Here, let the douchiness wash over you with this bit of information:

Canseco came into the arena to the song Wild Thing with a baseball bat on his shoulder. He took a few swings of the bat after the fight was over and was helped out of the ring by his girlfriend Heidi Northcott.

Ugh. What’s next for Canseco, you ask? He will be fighting Bill Simmons at a celebrity boxing event in Atlantic City.

No, unfortunately it’s  not the Bill Simmons from ESPN, although it would have been awesome if it had been – this Bill Simmons is a 6’4″, 300 pound dude cleverly nicknamed the “Wingador”, because, well, he eats a lot of chicken wings. If simply referencing the item that a person can eat a lot of is the method for getting a nickname these days, from this point forward, we should refer to Canseco as “Bagofdicksador.” Because Jose Canseco eats tons of cock, get it?

‘Bash Brother’ Jose Canseco gets bashed in mixed martial arts debut [New York Daily News]
Canseco strikes out in mixed martial arts debut [CBS Sports]