Sportress of Blogitude

You’re Welcome, David Ortiz


(Bill Greene / Globe Staff)

Some of you who check out the site semi-regularly may have noticed that I published a post yesterday entitled, “If David Ortiz Were A Horse, The Red Sox Would Probably Have To Take Him Behind The Barn And Shoot Him”, which essentially stated that David Ortiz’s career was effectively over and done. Disregarding that the title of the post had more letters in it than a bowl of Alpha-Bits [weaksauce], there was a point to what I wrote:

I was simply trying to get David Ortiz of the snide. And sure enough, Ortiz came through last night with his first home run of the season, in his 136th at-bat.

No, the post wasn’t yet another example of me being wrong and totally off-base (again), I knew that if I wrote something critical about Big Papi, he would hear about it and consequently he would be motivated to prove me wrong – which isn’t hard to do given that I am always wrong – and odds are either Ortiz saw the post or someone close to him did. At last check, the post had 5 (!) pageviews, so the chances are pretty good.

So, no thank you is necessary, Mr. Ortiz – just doing my part to make the world a better place. And if any of you out there in Internetland would like to see someone else in the sports world break out of a slump, drop me a line – I’ll be more than happy to write something* completely inaccurate and judgmental about them.

*offer not available for personal requests – if you find that you are in a slump of some sort, go get yourself a fat chick. Jeez, do I have to do everything for you people?

Blast from the past: Ortiz’s first HR since ’08 fuels Red Sox [The Boston Globe]