Sportress of Blogitude

Dirk Nowitzki Can Keep “Looking For Freedom” All He Wants, But Cristal Taylor Is Knocked Up

cristal-taylor-mugshot In an interview with The Dallas Morning News, Cristal Taylor said that she is indeed pregnant with Dirk’ s baby. The interview was set-up as a three-way (kinky) conversation by Taylor’s mother, Shirley.

I’ve known Dirk for seven years – and, no, I didn’t tell him everything about my past because I was afraid. But, I mean, now I’m pregnant and alone and broke because he is my only source of income.

She sounds nice. There’s nothing better for a man to hear than “you’re my only source of income.” Other than “I’m crazy and I’m pregnant with your baby,” I guess.

Ms. Taylor went into many topics during the interview, including that she hasn’t spoke to Nowitzki since her arrest and that he has changed his phone numbers. Occasionally sobbing at times, Taylor alleges, according to the News’ report, that “their engagement suddenly broke off and her life unraveled when Nowitzki’s longtime German coach urged a prenuptial agreement and an investigation of her past.

“Not only that, but they [the Mavericks] pretty much told him, after you guys put out all that crap on me, to just wash his hands of me — and I think he pretty much did,” she said, her voice cracking.

She also discusses other inaccuracies that have been disseminated by the media, including that she once worked as a stripper.

“I was a waitress at The Plantation…I was never, ever a stripper in all my life.”

Man, no matter which way you dice it, this is one screwed-up story and I suspect it’s only going to get screwier for Nowitzki. Tough break, Dirk.

What I can’t wait to see is what this baby comes out looking like. Neither of them are what you consider “not ugly” so we could have a freak show on our hands. What we need right now is that “If They Mated” computer program from Late Night With Conan O’Brien. My guess is the results would come out something like this:


Yikes! Seeing that makes me wish infanticide were legal – only in extreme situations like this, of course.

Cristal Taylor tells DMN she’s pregnant with Dirk Nowitzki’s child [The Dallas Morning News]