The Morning Bowl (May 11th): This Just In – Flag Football Invariably Leads To Sexual Assault

• According to the charges filed, a middle school boy was sexually assaulted by four of his teammates with a broom and a hockey stick. What in the hell is this world coming to? [Sports Rubbish]

• These guys want you to vote Lastings Milledge into the All-Star Game. Sure, he’s been demoted to Triple-A and in seven games with the Nationals he batted .167, but he’s on the ballot. [Bootlegger Sports]

• Create your own Tiger Woods press conference. Everybody’s doing it. [Devil Ball Golf]

• Photo evidence of the world’s coolest sports fanatic. It should come as no surprise he’s a Boston fan, right? [Bugs & Cranks]

• BaBa Booey of Howard Stern fame threw out the first pitch at Saturday’s Pirates-Mets game. Awkward. [H/T Awful Announcing]