Sportress of Blogitude

Lance Briggs: “Well, I Was Buttering Myself Up For A Nice Shave…”

5_the_butter_shaveChicago Bears linebacker Lance Briggs claims he sliced up his hand while attempting to give himself an old-fashioned shave with a straight-edged razor.

That’s the story Briggs told people who showed up Saturday at an autograph signing in Algonquin. The left-handed Briggs patiently signed with a heavy wrap on his right hand, clearly seen in multiple pictures posted on a blog by a fan who attended the event.

Trouble seems to find Briggs quite easily during the offseason. In August of 2007, Briggs falsely reported his Lamborghini stolen after he crashed it on a Chicago freeway and fled the scene, which resulted in misdemeanor charges for leaving the scene of an accident.

Perhaps Briggs should take up safer hobbies than reckless driving and handling straight-edge razors to amuse himself when he is not playing football. You know, more relaxing pursuits, like latch-hook or whittling.


Actually, on second thought, scratch the latch-hook and whittling suggestions. Those really aren’t good ideas at all.

Bears’ Lance Briggs cuts right hand with straight razor [Chicago Sun-Times]
‘Panicked’ Briggs reported car stolen after crash [NBC Sports]