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Gunnar, Get Your Leg Brace! We’re Goin’ To North Caroliner, Goshdangit!

hairy-nascar-fan

In a radical move that will be sure to send shock waves through the NASCAR-viewin’, Red Man chawin’ and slack-jawed yokelin’  ranks of race fans across the country, for the first time ever, a hybrid vehicle will be the official pace car at a NASCAR event, making its debut at next month’s Coca-Cola 600.

The Camry lent by Toyota had pass a NASCAR performance test. The hybrid must reach speeds close to 100 mph by the time it reaches the second turn of Lowe’s Motor Speedway from a standby position near the exit of pit road.

Responses to the shocking news will likely go a little something like this:

Well, jumpin’ Jesus on a gosh-darned pogo stick, ain’t nothing sacred in this dang country anymore? First we gots a Muslim as President, now some hippie inbred car is pacin’ races and disgracin’ our national passtime? What in tarnations is next? Homersexuals havin’ babies and gettin’ married. Hoo-eee! Honey, play me some Skynyrd!

Or, in video form, reaction may be patterned after this tirade (language NSFW):

That video is truly the gift that keeps on giving.

Hybrid Camry will be NASCAR pace car next month [The Sporting News]
The Nascar School of Parenting [Deadspin]