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John Madden Will Now Have More Time To Go To Ace Hardware And Apply “Tough-Actin” Tinactin To His Fungus-Infested Feet

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Say it ain’t so! It’s hard to believe, but John Madden has retired from broadcasting, saying that “[i]t’s time. I’m 73 years old.  My 50th wedding anniversary is this fall. I have two great sons and their families and my five grandchildren are at an age now when they know when I’m home and, more importantly, when I’m not…”

Good on you, Madden. Enjoy your retirement.

I do have one question: do you know how people always say that when they retire, they are going to buy a motor home and travel the country? I imagine Madden will retreat further and further into his own little world to a point where his wife will have to beg him to come out of his fort made out of pillows he constructed all by himself in the basement.

Yeah, that sounds about right.

John Madden Retiring [Deadspin]
John Madden retires from broadcasting [NBC Sports]