Sportress of Blogitude

“Potty Parity” Proposal Promotes Proper Proportion For Places To Piss For People Of Both Sexes

pee-troughEvery guy knows there is nothing worse than having to take a leak when you attend a sporting event. First, if you’re not in an aisle seat, you have to irritate your fellow rowmates by forcing them to stand up, unless you suffer the misfortune of having one of those “gatekeeper” dickheads at the end of your row. These jerk-offs act as if you have subjected them to the ultimate indignity simply by expecting them to get up off their fat asses when they weren’t intending to. Hey, douchebag, you paid the same amount for your ticket as I did – go fuck yourself. Everyone else in the row gets up happily because they know they are going to have to ask someone else to stand up too. But not the Lord of Aisle.

So once you get past the eyerolling and deep exhales of Seat One Fuckface Guy, you race up or down the steps only to discover that it seems every other man in the stadium had the same bright idea as you. It never fails that there are at least 20 guys in front you waiting to piss. You’ll never make it back before the next inning and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Well guys, all this time we thought we were getting the shaft we failed to realize that our suffering is nothing compared to that experienced by the fairer sex over the years. The lines men face pale in comparison to the Trail of Beers women are forced to endure.  That’s where New York’s Potty Parity law comes into play, righting the wrongs of society.

In 2005, New York City enacted a law public places have two toilets for women for every one for men.

Studies show that women take about twice as long as men in the restroom. The reasons vary, from the obvious (the need to secure themselves inside a stall, shed more clothes and use toilet paper) to the not-so-obvious (menstrual cycles and the increased likelihood, compared to men, of ushering small children).

Seems fair and reasonable. But why has it always been this way? Why have women had to deal with such deplorable conditions for so long?

“Until relatively recently, most architects, contractors, engineers, building-code officials and clients were not concerned about this issue,” Dr. Anthony said. “These were very male-dominated professions, and still are. They rarely contacted women about their restroom needs.”

Any time I have inquired about a woman’s restroom needs I am usually slapped and ordered out of the ladies room. It hardly seems fair.

But the times they are a-changing. Fans will be able to see ow the Potty Parity law in action at the new stadiums for the Yankees and Mets as well as the new Meadowlands stadium.

The Yankees and their architects, Populous (formerly HOK Sport Venue Event, which also designed Citi Field), gave Yankee Stadium 369 women’s toilets, and 98 toilets and 298 urinals for men, according to the buildings department. Another 78 fixtures are in unisex bathrooms, designed for families or in luxury suites.

Citi Field, with a capacity of about 45,000, was required to have 303 women’s toilets and 152 men’s fixtures. It was designed with 374 women’s toilets, and 111 toilets and 240 urinals for men.

At the new Meadowlands football stadium, where New Jersey dictates the use of the National Standard Plumbing Code, requirements called for at least 420 toilets for women and 277 fixtures for men.

Although I applaud the changes that are being implemented and how they will help make the fan experience at arenas similar whether you are a man or a woman, I have a much simpler (and less expensive) solution: pee troughs designed for women.

I’ll admit that I despise pee troughs, probably stemming from an incident when I was a wee lad and this inebriated guy pissed all over my pant leg while standing at one. Some childhood experiences never leave you and this was one for me.

I’d like to find out if women, in the interest of shorter times in line, would choose to pack themselves in ass cheek to ass cheek on a sit down pee trough. Hey, if they want equality in the bathrooms, let’s give it to them.

New Ballpark Statistic: Stadium’s Toilet Ratio [The New York Times]