Minnesota Vikings Wide Receiver Sidney Rice Has A Blog
Have you ever found yourself in the incredibly stressful position of needing to learn as much as you possibly can about Minnesota Vikings wide receiver Sidney Rice but didn’t know where to turn? I know, I know, people may say otherwise, but assignments for University of Phoenix online courses can be incredibly challenging.Well, those dark days are over, my friends, now that Sidney Rice has become the latest professional athlete with his own web site.
To be honest, it’s actually a decent-looking site. There are blog posts, a photo gallery and if you have a problem that you know only an average second year wide receiver could answer, there’s a place where you can “Ask Sidney” any question you wish (please, no gays).
All of these features aside, my favorite one is Rice’s Bio page – let’s delve into the complicated man that is Sidney Rice, shall we?
I do a lot of things by numbers. Like when a clock says 4:56, when the numbers are in a row like that, I make a wish or something. But if it’s like 3:33, I don’t do it because that’s half of 666.
Obviously, Sidney isn’t an Iron Maiden fan, but I won’t hold it against him. What’s interesting is he does a lot of things by numbers. I wonder if he paints by numbers, too. That reminds me: fuck Bob Ross. Painting ain’t as easy as tried to make it look, that afro-wearing, little tree painting bastard. May he rest in peace.
We had some rookies last year who decided they wanted to be jerks when they brought us food for our away game. Instead of getting us burgers from the restaurant we wanted, they went and got boxes from that restaurant and put Whopper Juniors in all of them. A couple had just buns, no meat. So we threw their clothes in the hot tub, then left them outside when it was about 0 degrees and they froze instantly.
Oh, Sidney R. Rice, you may need more time to develop as a wide receiver, but you are an All-Pro cad in my book!
This one makes me kind of angry. We all know the real King Rice is Uncle Ben. Don’t even bother trying to argue with me on that one.
My hero is:
But of course.
I have around 27 of them. My favorite is a Jesus face with clouds around it and three cherubs above it. It’s on my upper right arm.
27 tattoos? Holy moly! Nevertheless, it is hardly mind-blowing that his favorite one is a Jesus face – J.C. is his hero (side note: (I call him J.C. – we’ve got a good vibe going). I haven’t seen the tattoo, but I bet Kurt Warner could have done a better job.
Be sure to keep checking out Sidney Rice’s web site. I heard from a reliable source that Vikings Head Coach Brad Childress may be writing some guest posts in the near future. Those are going to be sweet.
[Sidney Rice Official Website]
“That’s good, but I asked you to draw Godzilla. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]