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Wake N’ Blog For April 9th: Who Among You Wishes To Be Lard Of The Dance?

wake-n-blog

A bunch of weird, wild, wacky stuff happened last night, wouldn’t you agree?

“YOU ARE CORRECT SIR!”

Okay, who in the hell was that lunatic? Get him out of here!

•  The Florida Marlins are 3-0 after beating the woeful Nationals 6-4 yesterday, completing the series sweep. I’m not trying to rain on their parade, but isn’t sweeping the Nationals the Major League Baseball equivalent of beating someone with Parkinson’s Disease in Jenga three consecutive times? (I checked with Michael J. Fox, he was cool with the joke – as long as I sing “At This Moment” by Billy Vera & The Beaters the next time we karaoke) [Yahoo! Sports]

• The Columbus Blue Jackets are in the playoffs! The Columbus Blue Jackets are in the playoffs! Prepare for The Rapture, everyone, because there’s no turning back now. [NHL.com]

• The Cavaliers drilled the lowly Washington Wizards 98-86 to improve to 38-1 at home. LeBron James scored 21 points but spent a majority of the 4th quarter on the bench. Man, that’s the second time in this brief little post that I had the chance to hammer on a Washington teams. Nah, I’ll pass this one up – this time. [SI.com]

MLB  Bonus Recaps: The Phillies score nine runs in the 7th and 8th innings to beat the Braves 12-11 and avoid the three-game sweep, the A’s are held scoreless until scoring 3 runs in both the 8th and 9th innings to complete the rally for a 6-4 win over the Angels and the Yankees are 0-2 (panic on the streets of New York, panic on the streets of Yankeeland). Stop the insanity! [MLB.com Scoreboard]

Life Imitating Bart. Christopher Kind and Richard Tallent have been charged with multiple misdemeanors regarding their plan to steal grease from area restaurants. A scheme like that requires some Kind of Tallent to dream up, amirite? Get it? You do? Still not funny? Sigh. Fine. [Detroit Free Press]

grease-stealing