Sportress of Blogitude

I Don’t Understand Why They’re Doing This – Don’t They Know They’re Going To Shock The Monkey?

maggieIt’s a sad day in primate prognosticating. Maggie the Monkey, known in The Great White North for her role making picks using “her ‘highly scientific’ method of predicting NHL playoff winners by spinning a wheel” on NHL on TSN,  has had enough of the rat race and will officially retire after making her predictions for the 2009 Stanley Cup Playoffs.

Maggie will make her final picks during NHL on TSN Playoff Preview Special on Tuesday, April 14th at 9:00 p.m. She will then retire to a nice, fully-furnished condo in Del Boca Vista, Phase III.

Said TSN on NHL host and frequent foil for Maggie’s antics James Duthie:

“This is an emotional day and really an end of an era. Sure, we’ve had our ups and downs, but Maggie helped put this network, and the NHL, on the world stage.  We plan to send her off in style, so if anyone has a great recipe for a goodbye banana cake – we’d love to have it.”

An end of an era, indeed, my friend.

(wipes tear from eye)

But Maggie the Monkey was no sideshow gimmick. She knew how to pick ’em, and I’m not talking about the lice in James Duthie’s hair, which are plentiful and surprisingly resistant to most over-the-counter treatments.

Overall, Maggie the Monkey’s playoff prediction record is an impressive 40-35. Maggie’s best year was 2006 when she finished first out of a panel of TSN hockey experts including Bob McKenzie and Pierre McGuire.

Suck on that, so-called experts.

Let me be the one of the first to say that things won’t be the same without you, Maggie the Monkey. Have a banana daiquiri on me.

I will now leave you with a video retrospective of Maggie the Monkey performing her magic. Trust me, it’s a good thing that you can watch from the comfort of your home or office. That way, she can’t throw shit at you.