Call Me Weedmael
SOME years ago – never mind how long precisely – having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on the Internet, I thought I would write a little and see the bloggery part of the world.
Alright, alright. I will not subject you to an adapted recitation of Chapter I of Moby Dick. Although the end result of that exercise would likely make for a more entertaining read than what follows, even if I take as long to write it as Ahab spent pursuing the Great Fish (mammal – whatever).
Instead, I would like to welcome each and every one of you to my blogmare, which I have cleverly named “Sportress of Blogitude.” It is my hope that you will consider this blog a way station of sorts on the information superhighway. A place where you can rest and recuperate as you make your way through another day, attempting in earnest to avoid any semblance of work.
Or better yet, if this blog can somehow manage to honor the mystical site for which it is named, a place where you can insert oddly-shaped pieces of ice into various receptacles and have wisdom imparted to you from long-extinct alien civilizations. I doubt that is going to happen, but wouldn’t it be cool if it did? Far out, man.
After the jump, I will hit on a few of the high points regarding the initial format I envision for S.O.B.
Down the rabbit hole we go…
First and foremost, this will be a sports blog: no more, no less. According to my calculations, there isn’t a sports blog for each person that has access to the internet and man, that ain’t right. I do not intend to revolutionize sports blogging as we know it with Sportress of Blogitude, nor am I attempting to reinvent the sports blogging wheel, as that would be a waste of time since there has never been a “wheel” for sports blogs (try wrapping your brain around that one). However, I do hope to put my own little spin (see what I did there?) on the work of those who came before me. Above all, the core objective for this blog is to be entertaining, and if that comes at the expense of quality writing – which provides me an adequate alibi in that regard – so be it.
Finally, and perhaps most importantly, I hope to keep the site as updated as humanly possible. Like many of you who have blogs of your own or spend a good amount of time perusing blogs during the day, I do have a full-time job. Due to this, on occasion, I will not be able to post as much content as I would like.
I do intend to roll-out several recurring features that will be unique to this site, and I hope everyone will enjoy them. When I introduce them and how often you will see them is yet to be determined. Nevertheless, here are some of the features you will see from the onset:
- Wake N’ Blog. This will typically be the first post of the day and it will briefly recap the previous night’s sports action. This feature is of course an homage to Deadspin, Rick Chandler and his “About Last Night” posts. Many of you old-timers from Deadspin will recall that “About Last Night” was one of our favorite posts of the day and the comments section was often a free-wheeling affair and was used by commenters to regale their own experiences from the previous night for each other’s amusement. Feel free to use Wake and Blog in this manner or as you wish.
- The Morning Bowl. Sportress of Blogitude’s a.m. link dump. Be sure to send links, everybody.
- Weedtubeage. Located in the right sidebar of S.O.B. you will find a video player. On that video player you will find the video of the day. More often than not it will be music-related videos from some of my favorite bands, but not necessarily. Perhaps on some days it will be a sketch from Kids in the Hall, other days it could be a cool sports highlight. Please contact me with any suggestions as to what you would like to see in Weedtubeage.
- Things to Tune Into And Zone Out On. A primer for what’s on TV for the upcoming evening. Yet another riff on an old Deadspin bit, but hey, they’re not using it anymore, so why not?
- It’s 4:19, You Gotta Minute? SOB’s afternoon link dump, which will be posted…wait for it…at 4:19. What a concept! The format has not yet been fully determined and I may attempt to something a little different with this feature, so be sure to check it out. Note: as a Minnesotan living in the Central Time Zone, I will be posting this at 4:19 cst. Deal with it, East Coasters. Score one for flyover country!
Other features are currently in the hopper and I will roll them out as I figure out how to go about implementing them.
Unfortunately, there are a few bugs I’m still working on. For example, when you register, you are not getting redirected to the appropriate place. I am working hard on fixing these sort of nuisances, so please be patient with me in the interim. If you discover any others, I would appreciate it greatly if you would let me know.
So, in a nutshell, there you have it. I am really excited to get the ball rolling with Sportress of Blogitude and I hope that you, the readers, will enjoy this as much as I envision I will enjoy working on it. Of course, if anyone has any questions, tips or suggestions, do not hesitate to contact me. That’s it for now. Stay tuned.
Peace and hair grease,