Archive for Random
Dungy Speaks To Prison Inmates, Warns Them To Watch Out For Their Corn Holes
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Although I cannot confirm that he actually warned them about the inherent dangers – both moral and otherwise – of forcible sodomy, given Dungy’s deeply-held religious views that cause him to believe that homosexuality is a sin, I wouldn’t be surprised.
Dungy, who has kept his word that he was retiring from coaching football to work more closely with troubled, at-risk young men, visited with both minimum and maximum security inmates at a South Carolina prison.
Dungy told minimum security inmates at the Broad River Correctional complex in Columbia on Tuesday that no matter their mistakes, they can choose the right direction and gain redemption.
Indeed they can. Unless they happen to be homosexuals, of course. Then it’s off to the Seventh Circle of Hell with all the other sodomites, right Coach Dungy?
Ex-coach Dungy speaks to inmates in South Carolina [Sporting News/AP]
Tony Dungy on Homosexuality: Bigotry Is Bigotry [Bleacher Report]
This Just In: Smoking Dope Makes You Run Fast
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Granted, I am not what one considers “learned” in the scientific method, but that is the only conclusion I can come to after Ivory Williams, an American sprinter withdrew from the IIAF Championships this weekend in Qatar after testing positive for marijuana. Williams was a favorite in the 60 meters and not only will he be able to compete this weekend, but his victory in the event at the U.S. Championships will also be taken away.
Ray Flynn, the sprinter’s manager, believes the positive result was from a test during the U.S. Championships.
“It is unfortunate,” Flynn said. “It was poor judgment and he acknowledges that and to my knowledge has accepted the A sample (as positive).”
Weed, huh? Interesting. I am all for getting rid of performance-enhancing drugs in athletic competition, but can marijuana technically be described as such? Not that every person that smokes grass fulfills the stereotype of the lazy dude sitting on the couch watching cartoons and eating Doritos, but I imagine after smoking a bowl, Williams probably wasn’t terribly pumped up to race – it is much more likely he would have preferred to just, um, sit on the couch, watch cartoons and eat Doritos.
Man, I wish I was home right now.
Williams tests positive for marijuana [Reuters]
Yet Another Example Why Women Shouldn’t Be Allowed To Play Sports
Posted by: | CommentsBAM!
Here is a delightfully painful-to-watch video of one poor woman’s experience of getting drilled in the head by the ball while trying to leg out an infield single during a co-ed league softball game.
Before all of you politically correct bozos out there get all up in arms about it, just so you know, the title of this post isn’t some dig about girls participating in sports. Allow me to explain: I did a little research on the individuals involved in the incident and I have learned that there was some bad blood between the shortstop who threw the ball and the girl who unfortunately got plunked. Apparently, while at a party – without permission, mind you – put in his Huey Lewis & The News CD. That’s what I meant by “play Sports.”
That sort of aggression cannot stand. Therefore, the retaliation was warranted. Sorry to say it, but she deserved it.
[H/T Busted Coverage]
If O.J.’s ‘Acquittal Suit’ Don’t Fit…
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Um, you will now be able to see it? No, that rhyme is terrible. Goddamn, that Johnnie Cochran was one smooth son of a bitch.
A judge has ruled that the suit that O.J. Simpson was wearing on October 3, 1995 (it was that long ago?), the day he was acquitted of murder charges, can now be donated to the Smithsonian museum. Sweet. The judge’s decision effectively ends a 13-year legal battle between Mike Gilbert, Simpson’s former agent, and Ron Goldman on who had the rights to the outfit. The suit was considered an asset of Simpson’s, and Goldman has been battling for years to seize any and all of Simpson’s assets to satisfy the $33.5 million dollar civil judgment against O.J.
Gilbert originally came up with the idea to donate the suit to a museum.
“It’s part of American history,” Gilbert said outside court. “People should be able to see it and reflect on what went so wrong for someone who had everything.”
So all’s well that ends well, right? No one profits and people will be able to gawk at an article of clothing for years to come. Not so fast, according toTMZ.
An official from the Smithsonian … who did not want to be ID’d … told TMZ this AM before accepting anything the item would go to museum curators for review. The curator then sends the item to one of the various museums — e.g., the National Museum of American History. A review is then conducted.
The official said no one has offered the suit to the Institution yet, but the official does not believe OJ Simpson’s acquittal suit will pass muster.
TMZ also mentions that Monica Lewinsky’s infamous blue dress didn’t make the cut at the Smithsonian, either, so who knows how this is going to work out. Superior Court Judge Joseph Biderman has ruled that if the Smithsonian doesn’t want the suit, it can be offered to some other museum or institute of higher learning. Although it’s not a museum per se, this situation perfectly illustrates why Planet Hollywood should still be in business.
No way. There are actually still Planet Hollywood restaurants out there? Wow.
Simpson’s ‘acquittal suit’ to be donated to Smithsonian [CBS Sports]
Smithsonian to OJ: Thanks, But No Thanks [TMZ]
Like Most Bowlers, John Johnson Leads A Charmed Life
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Most people are not aware of this, but bowling is a lifestyle, and avid bowlers are some of the happiest, salt-of-the-earth people on this planet. Not only are they usually in fantastic shape, they spend a majority of their time in luxurious bowling alleys, sipping on the finest hand-crafted brews while enjoying stimulating conversation with some of the most sophisticated, intelligent folks this side of a MENSA meeting.
Better yet, luck seems to follow them wherever they go. Case in point, one redundantly-named John Johnson. The 36-year-old bowler from Arvada, Colorado, in Reno for the U.S. Bowling Congress Open Championships this week, cashed in big time at the Reno-Tahoe International Airport, winning the $10.4 million jackpot on a $20 bet on a Megabucks MegaJackpot slot machine.
“I kept telling my wife that something was going to go well this week, whether it was bowling well or winning something, but I never could have imagined winning $10 million.”
“Three years ago I married my wife, Stephanie, here in Reno,” Johnson said. “All of us use the Open as a vacation every year, and we just come out to have a good time. Plus, bowling is a big part of my life. It’s really the best of everything.”
Indeed it is, John Johnson. Indeed it is. And the best part of this story is that Johnson still rolled with his Kamikaze Keglers on Monday. Man, money, notoriety, bowling – this guy has got it all. You know, it just doesn’t get any better than that.
Golden bowler strikes it rich [The Denver Post]
Wrestler The Undertaker Nearly Had A ‘James Hetfield Moment’
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Mark Halaway, better known as WWE’s The Undertaker, suffered minor burns Sunday night in St. Louis after a pyrotechnics display that he routinely enters to had a “timing mistake” and set his jacket on fire.
World Wrestling Entertainment spokesman Robert Zimmerman says the wrestler, whose real name is Mark Calaway, is fine. In fact, he wrestled after being burned Sunday night and was back in the ring for WWE’s “Raw” show on Monday.
The Undertaker enters the ring as fireballs explode. Zimmerman says there apparently was a timing mistake Sunday and the wrestler’s jacket caught fire.
He threw down the jacket and was evaluated by a ringside physician. Zimmerman says The Undertaker’s chest was red as if he had gotten a sunburn but he was cleared to wrestle.
Timing mistake my ass! Now, to be frank, I haven’t been a big fan of professional wrestling since I was in junior high, so I might be behind the times on what is currently going on, but I can smell a rat when I, um, smell it:
The brainchild behind this entire operation was none other than Hacksaw Jim Duggan. Him or Cowboy Bob Orton. One of those two for sure. Or “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka. Could have been Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat, too, come to think of it.
Wait, They Have Bench-Clearing Brawls During Indoor Lacrosse League Games? Cool!
Posted by: | CommentsWho knew, huh?
Above is video of a bench-clearing brawl that occurred at the end of the first quarter during a matchup between the Minnesota Swarm and Washington Stealth, two indoor lacrosse teams competing in the National Lacrosse League – the NLL for insiders like me.
At the end of the first quarter, the game’s intensity turned up. Stealth goalie Tyler Richards and Swarm forward Sean Pollock dropped their gloves and started a brawl that cleared both benches.
Pollock was penalized for game misconduct, fighting and roughing infractions and was ejected. Stealth defender Mike Grimes was ejected as well for the bench clearing brawl.
Apparently, fighting is against the rules in the NLL, which kind of stinks but I guess rules are rules. The Swarm went on to beat the Stealth by a score of 16-12, handing Washington their first loss of the season.
Most of you out there probably had no idea there were professional indoor lacrosse leagues to begin with, let alone the fact that in some markets, it is a huge draw. In the case of the Swarm, they play at Xcel Energy Center – the Minnesota Wild’s home arena – and it is not uncommon for games to draw pretty good attendance figures. For instance, Saturday night’s game brought 8,952 fans into the X. I have never been to a Swarm game myself, but from what I’ve heard from folks I’ve spoken with who have attended a game or two, it’s a pretty entertaining evening of athletic competition at a reasonable price.
I do have to admit that the brawl itself left a little to be desired, but what can you expect out of a sport and a league that doesn’t allow fighting? Namby-pambys. LET THEM FIGHT! LET THEM FIGHT! LET THEM…ah, you get it.
Video: Minnesota Swarm lacrosse brawl [Star Tribune]
PERFECT NO MORE AS SWARM SLIP PAST STEALTH [NLL.com]
Worst. Poll. Ever.
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The Fabulous Forum, the sports blog of the Los Angeles Times, is currently conducting several polls in an attempt to ascertain the best sports movie of the past 35 years, at least according to their readers. According to the results of the polls, they have informally determined the best football movie (Remember The Titans), the best baseball movie (Bull Durham), the best basketball movie (Hoosiers) and the best hockey movie (Slap Shot). Although arguments can be made one way or the other with the top baseball movie and football movie, there are far better films in both genres – for instance, Brian’s Song, even though it came out in 1971 and doesn’t fall within the designated time frame, should be number one simply on principle. All that aside, the most recent poll left me initially scratching my head:
The two best soccer movies of the past 35 years.
Huh? How many mainstream soccer movies have even been made? I can only think of three: Bend It Like Beckham, Kicking and Screaming and the Rodney Dangerfield “classic,” Ladybugs. And these films – other than Bend It Like Beckham - should never be considered the “best” of anything. And if they are selecting two films, that means Ladybugs or Kicking And Screaming are moving on. That’s wrong.
But then I looked at the movies one could vote for and they have eleven soccer-themed movies listed. Obviously, I have never heard of eight of them. Who knew there were so many soccer movies? At the same time, I sincerely doubt they will ever make it into my Netflix queue.
My question is: after soccer, is it their intention to conduct polls for movies about other sports? Because I will tell you this, if Side Out doesn’t get voted as the best beach volleyball movie ever, I’m going to be pissed. What’s not to like about a film starring Peter Horton and C. Thomas Howell?
Poll: What are the two best soccer movies of the last 35 years? [The Fabulous Forum]
The Term ‘Hooker’ Must Mean Something Entirely Different Across The Pond
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Heh. Hooker.
Obviously, hooker is a position played in rugby and since I am a xenophobic American, I have nary an inkling of an idea what in the hell is going on during a game of rugby, let alone any of the terms associated with what by all accounts is a fascinating, fast-pace game.
According to rugbycoach.com, “The main requirement of a hooker now is that he is physically strong enough to take the strain of scrumming,” so when you think about it, at face value, the responsibilities of a hooker in rugby as well as a one working in the sex trade are not that different.
One additional similarity between two – and I cannot speak to this from personal experience, mind you – is that most hookers probably do not enjoy getting tackled and thrown to the ground. Unless you pay them extra up front.
Nevertheless, it certainly is an amusing occurrence when different cultures have wholly different meanings for words, especially when the word has such a visceral connotation in one and a completely innocuous meaning in the other. For instance – and this is a unique coincidence – do you know what they call hookers in the United Kingdom?
Defensive ends, which is one of the best examples of a misnomer as you will ever find.
Six Nations – Ireland hooker Flannery cited [Yahoo! Eurosport]
Grand Champion Sumo Wrestler Got In A Drunken Brawl At Tokyo Nightclub
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The last thing you would ever want to see while spending a night out clubbing is a shitfaced, 330 pound sumo wrestler looking to beat the living snot out of you. Just a hunch.
But that was the situation one unlucky soul found himself in on the evening of January 16th, when Asashoryu, a grand champion who is notoriously known as sumo wrestling’s “bad boy,” drunkenly pounded on the poor fellow outside a Tokyo club after an evening of heavy drinking.
