Archive for Olympics
Or should the above read, “Caster Semenya Doesn’t Have The Balls To Show Up At The IAAF World Challenge In Berlin”?
It’s all so confusing, isn’t it? Crazy stuff, masculine female athletes. Who knows what to think? Martina Navratilova knows what I’m talking about.
Anyway, best of luck to Semenya in this weekend’s events. You go, gir-…it!
Caster Semenya returns to Berlin a year on from gender controversy [The Telegraph]
I said, “Charles, don’t you ever crave
To appear on the front of the Daily Mail
Dressed in your Mother’s bridal veil?” – “The Queen Is Dead” by The Smiths
Yes, I know they are not actually referring to the royal grounds of Buckingham Palace with that headline, but it is clear the blokes writing headlines for The Sun were clearly angling for that kind of association with the reference. Of course, the story is about Tyson Gay’s running in the London Grand Prix at the Crystal Palace and how the absence of two of his rivals, Usain Bolt and Asafa Powell (?) make for a less-than-thrilling event.
Still, a tip of the old cap to whomever came up with the headline. Jolly good, sir. Jolly good.
I’m the Only Gay in the Palace [The Sun]
Jeez, the headline writers at The Telegraph are a surly bunch, aren’t they? Usually, when a person dies tragically at a relatively young age, despite any potential shortcomings in character, it is a generally accepted practice to at least report their death with some level of decorum and class. At least until the body has cooled. Granted, the person who passed away wasn’t some inbred member of the royal family, but apparently, The Telegraph feels they needn’t play by such rules, as evidenced by them referring to Antonio Pettigrew, who was found dead in his car just this morning as a “drug cheat.” That’s harsh, man.
Here’s the heartless way The Telegraph reported his untimely passing, in its entirety:
Pettigrew, who worked as an assistant coach at the University of North Carolina was discovered early on Tuesday morning in his car.
Pettigrew was part of the 4x 400 metre relay team together with Calvin Harrison, Michael Johnson and Alvin Harrison, that won the gold medal for the US in the Sydney Olympics in 2000, but the International Olympic Committee stripped the team of the medals in 2008 after Pettigrew admitted doping during a trial against former coach Trevor Graham.
Pettigrew had spent four seasons at North Carolina and focused on sprints, hurdle and relays. He graduated from St. Augustine’s in Raleigh in 1992.
Now, I’m not disputing that Pettigrew did in fact cheat in an athletic event, but does that warrant such a cold reaction to his death? I sure as hell don’t think so. Either way, I’m sure the editors who approved the headline and the writer of the article sincerely hope that Antonio Pettigrew rests in peace…that way, one day they can visit the site of his grave and take a great big steaming dump right on top of it. Jesus.
Drug cheat Antonio Pettigrew found dead in car [The Telegraph]
God, if you listenin’…HELLLLLP!!!
Alright, moving on from far-too-easy Sir-Smoke-Alot reference, Usain Bolt, after surprisingly losing to Tyson Gay in Stockholm last week in a 100m race, has decided that enough is enough trying to race while dealing with nagging injuries and will instead hang up his running shoes and take the rest of the season off to rest his ailing lower back after consulting with a Munich doctor on Monday. Via Reuters:
“I am very disappointed to miss two of the top meetings on the circuit — Zurich and Brussels — but trust that it is better for me not to take any risks this year,” said Bolt.
“2011 and 2012 are very important championship years and I hope to be back fully fit and healthy,” he added in reference to next year’s world championships in Daegu and the London Olympics.
The competitor that he is, it will come as no surprise to anyone if he comes back better and faster than ever after a few months rest. But for those of you ladies out there who think that Bolt is going to slack off and lose his focus, I have only this to tell you:
He’s impotent, man! Get away from him, bitch!
Okay, he’s not – at least, that has never been made know publicly, I just couldn’t help making one last Half Baked reference. Sue me.
Back injury ends Usain Bolt’s season [Reuters]
Athlete of the week: Tyson Gay sprints past Usain Bolt in 100m [USA Today]
Great news, pole vaulting fans! Also, great news, fans of sublime buttocks and internet oglers! Arguably the greatest female pole vaulter in the history of the sport – two-time Olympic Gold Medalist (2004 and 2008), Female Athlete of the Year by the IAAF in 2004, 2005 and 2008, and World Sportswoman of the Year by Laureus in 2007 and 2009 – Russian phenom Yelena Isinbayeva ended her indefinite leave from competition and begin her comeback and return to dominance.
Via ESPN/AP:
“A break was necessary for me. I was under too much pressure,” Isinbayeva said. “But now I feel refreshed and motivated. I will be back for the 2011 winter season.”
Another reason for her return? Boredom.
“Having competed all these years, I have missed on the normal life other young women live. Now that I’ve seen it, I can say that normal life is really boring,” she said.
You’re telling me, honey. When I took a two week break from blogging, I realized the “normal life,” as she puts it, was dreadful. Do you know how bright the sun is during the day? Blinding.
In any event, welcome back Yelena. And a special welcome back to your fantastic butt. I’m not sure, despite its magnificence, if it will motivate me to watch more pole vaulting, but I eagerly anticipate additional photos of the testament to fantastic athletic booty.
Isinbayeva eyes winter 2011 return [ESPN/AP]
(previously at the Sportress: Yelena Isinbayeva Loses Stranglehold On Women’s Pole Vaulting, But That’s Not Important Right Now)
…it’s still pretty cool, ain’t it?
When she last left our collective consciousness, Miss Alicia Sacramone, the tough-as-nails, ultra-competitive, Boston-bred gymnast, she was performing her own personal epic fail at the 2008 Beijing Olympics. As you likely recall, she fell in two of the three events she competed in during the team final, an outcome that left her embarrassed, shamed and humiliated, which ultimately led to her retirement from the sport.
Not so fast, though. The 22-year-old Sacramone is staging a comeback and it all begins this weekend at the CoverGirl Classic in Chicago. From the Boston Herald:
Last summer, after a year off from the sport, Sacramone decided she wanted to try again while her body still could take the pounding.
“I didn’t have the performance of a lifetime at the Olympics, and I know I’m a better competitor than that,” Sacramone said. “I want to show everybody the true athlete I am so I can finish my career on a better note.”
The profile of the talented and bad-ass Olympic athlete found in the Herald is a compelling read, so I would advise on you heading over and taking a peek. For instance, did you know that Sacramone dated Brady Quinn for a year? I had no idea she had interests outside of gymnastics, like being a beard for a high profile football player. Interesting.
But much more than that, the article highlights something I had forgotten about: the YouTube video of her knocking the crap out of some guy – who happened to be All-Ivy League Brown linebacker Steve Ziogas, a good friend of hers – during a frat party at Brown (video follows):
Okay, Jenny Meadows, the rival of Caster Semenya quoted in The Telegraph article referenced, didn’t actually say the last part about Semenya whipping out her semi-wiener and teasing her competitors by wagging it about to and fro as she yells “Deez Nuts!” but it would have been funny if she had.
Because you just know even if it has been determined that she is technically a woman, Semenya has some sort of male genitalia-type protuberance sticking out down there. Not that I spend a lot of time contemplating that sort of thing. And for your information, I also totally knew that chick in The Crying Game was a dude the entire movie.
(shudders)
Caster Semenya will smash 800 metres world record, says rival Jenny Meadows [The Telegraph]
We haven’t heard much from Shaun White in some time, but I regret to say that his reappearance is under disconcerting circumstances. Setting the world of long red locks lovers into a frenzy, Shaun White uploaded the above photo depicting the snowboarder/entrepreneur contemplating getting a haircut to his Facebook page. In fact, 3,500 have responded to White’s musings. Excerpted from an AP report:
“I I don’t know …. Is it time?” reads the caption underneath the picture, added to the snowboarder’s page on Monday.
Others tell him to take it slow — maybe an inch or two at a time — while a few suggested he cut his hair and donate it to cancer patients. If he does go for the cut, he’ll get his $5 worth. His locks now extend down around his shoulder blades.
The long and short of it: Well, one fan suggests, “Cut it and see who your true fans are.”
Indeed. I imagine Shaun White’s enormous fan base is comprised by many clearheaded, rational people who will forever feel betrayed if Shaun White got a haircut. I mean, the nerve of the guy, right?
But if I may interject with my levelheaded opinion: Don’t do it , Shaun! Don’t even think about it! You cannot even begin to understand the enormity of what you are about to decide! What happens if you do it, you ask? You could lose all of your magical powers! You would be just like that guy in the Bible – oh, bloody hell, what was his name again? Oh yeah, Jesus!
Think about it, brah. Nobody wants to go out like the Jesus.
Long and short of it: Shaun White mulls a haircut [AP]
Shaun White [Facebook]
Swimmer, Jenny Thompson, an eight-time gold medal-winner was attacked by street toughs in Boston in a failed attempt by the crooks to steal her scooter. Via an AP report in The Washington Post:
Thompson told WBZ-TV on Wednesday that she was riding in Brookline on Monday night when a vehicle stopped behind her with its headlights out. She says two people got out, punched her, pushed her down and tried to grab her ride.
Thompson held onto the scooter and screamed for help, forcing the assailants to flee. The 37-year-old suffered a cut on her nose and several scrapes.
Police say three teenagers were arrested later Monday night with stolen scooters, and they are investigating whether the teens were connected to the Thompson incident.
What kind of crazy, anarchic world are we living in when a woman cannot ride through the streets of Boston on her scooter without getting roughed up by a trio of hoodlums? I’ll tell you what kind of world: a world where scooters should be banned. Sure, it’s a radical idea, but if Thompson hadn’t been riding her scooter, the criminals wouldn’t have attacked her, right? Yeah, I’m pretty smart and stuff.
Despite my ingenious world-improving ideas, the fact remains that Thompson was in fact on a scooter and she was unfortunately roughed up. Do you want to know why? She was on dry land, out of her element. I refer to it as the Aquaman Effect. I bet a couple of surly teenagers in a paddle boat wouldn’t have even dared to attempt a robbery if she was riding on one of these bad boys. Mainly because those damn aquabikes are ridiculous. Who would want to steal one of those things?
Olympic swimmer Jenny Thompson attacked in Massachusetts [The Washington Post]
It sure seems like everybody has an opinion – most of them not very complimentary – regarding Wenlock and Mandeville, the just recently-introduced official mascots for the 2012 London Olympics (I previously addressed the topic yesterday here), and as it seems with anything these days, the best way to express one’s opinion on the internets is with some wise-cracking Photoshoppery.
The Telegraph has selected some of its favorites thus far and included a link to the message board on b3ta.com where there are many others. Below is a gallery of some of my personal favorites. Enjoy.
London 2012 Olympic mascots: best spoofs [The Telegraph]
(previously at the Sportress: Dear God: London Olympics Mascots Will Haunt Your Dreams, Eat Your Soul)
