Archive for NASCAR
I still have no idea what in the hell Jimmy Joe is talking about in these videos, but I enjoy them immensely. If ESPN had any idea what they were doing, they would hire this man to shore up their NASCAR coverage immediately.
The guy has a talent, to be sure. And after watching the video, for some reason or another, I now have a hankering for hushpuppies and have begun looking at my cousin in an entirely different way.
Just kidding. That’s disgusting. I haven’t the foggiest idea what a hushpuppy even is, for crying out loud.
To be completely accurate, it wasn’t Jimmy Joe who was on a one-week hiatus. He, as always, had his NASCAR preview and review videos rolling over on YouTube – it was me that neglected to upload them here at the Sportress. I will assume full responsibility but I have to lay some of the blame on the moonshine Jimmy Joe sent up to me from parts unknown as a token of friendship. Crap, I’m still partially-blind in my right eye because of that stuff. Not that I’m complaining.
So, kick back and have a looksee at Jimmy Joe’s preview of the 2010 Emory Healthcare 500. Then have yourself a mighty fine holiday weekend. Just be sure to come back ’round to these neck of the woods next week, ya hear?
I’m not sure exactly what my good buddy Jimmy Joe is talking about in his hypnotic yet hyperactive backwoods drawl, but I did manage to deduce that Kurt Busch did something historic this weekend and that Jimmy Joe’s cousin loves the Grateful Dead. Other than that, I was lost.
In any event, congratulations, Kurt Busch, on your unknown achievement. And Jimmy Joe, please keep your delightful NASCAR videos coming.
(Note: As long as Jimmy Joe keeps uploading these videos, I’ll keep embedding them)
Who’s ready for the Irwin Tools 500 this weekend? Jimmy Joe sure is! I’m not, I could give a rip about NASCAR, but I sure do love dem Jimmy Joe previews!! HOOOO-EEEE!
Have a good weekend, folks. Do something better than watching auto racing. Please.
If serial killers spent more time making off-kilter YouTube videos about NASCAR instead of dismembering bodies and having sex with corpses, I imagine their output would be eerily similar to Jimmy Joe’s auto-racing-themed submissions.
As you may recall, the Sportress clued you in last Friday on the lowbred wonder that is a Jimmy Joe NASCAR video when he previewed the CARFAX 400 race in Michigan this weekend. Well, he was back at it yesterday evening, as he spun another tale, this time recapping the race with his patented down-home charm with a heaping helping of his trailer park wisdom. Enjoy.
(previously at the Sportress: Country-Fried Goodness: Jimmy Joe’s Video Preview Almost Made Me Care About NASCAR)
To be perfectly frank, I have no idea whatsoever what this pseudo-slack-jawed yokel is talking about, but according to the YouTube title, Jimmy Joe is previewing the CARFAX 400, which I assume is a NASCAR race taking place this weekend at Michigan International Speedway.Despite Jimmy Joe’s unique delivery, I truly believe that he is actually passing along some pertinent information.
But really, that’s not that important right now. What is important is that the one-minute, eight-seconds I spent watching this amusing little video is more time than I have spent watching anything about NASCAR all year.
And in more ways than one, that’s a good thing.
Sure, the once burning bright stars of Adam Sandler and Kevin James may have dimmed just a tiny bit since the halcyon days of I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (it was like Beatlemania, man), but that doesn’t mean they don’t pull out all the big stops when hitting the promotional trail to pimp their most recent masterpiece caught on celluloid, Grown Ups. It’s the usual routine: Letterman, Leno, Regis and that one anorexic broad who would be pretty hot if she ever would break 80 pounds again, Larry King, the Michigan International Speedway…
Wha?
That’s right, the best comedy duo since the Sklar Brothers are heading up Michigan way so they can be the grand marshals of the Heluva Good! Sour Cream Dips 400 NASCAR Sprint Cup Series race on June 13th. Via the Detroit Free Press:
“It’s exciting to return to Michigan to give the command and launch the film,” Sandler said in a released statement. “Last time I was there, we had the winning car for the movie ‘Click’ with Kasey Kahne, so hopefully, we will have the same luck with ‘Grown Ups.’”
Does he want the same luck with a race car or the box office success of Click? To be honest, I really can’t say one way or the other regarding that movie – I never saw it. Not even the presence of the criminally sexy Kate Beckinsale could convince me to ever watch it. What’s that? Christopher Walken was in that? Dammit!
And how about the name for the race? What in holy hell are Heluva Good Sour Cream Dips anyway? Were Sandler and James not big enough for the Kinda Sorta Alright But Pretty Bland Ranch Dunkers 250? Harsh.
Adam Sandler, Kevin James will be grand marshals at MIS [Detroit Free Press]
Well, if every box doesn’t include a free tin of chew, they should.
Earlier today, Wheaties unveiled a special edition commemorative box honoring NASCAR legend Dale Earnhardt.
Via Market Watch:
“Dale Earnhardt signifies everything that makes a champion,” said David Clark, vice president for Wheaties. “His record speaks for itself, but it was also his hard work and determination that made him an inspiration to so many. We’re honored to feature him again and to help celebrate his latest acknowledgements [sic].”
That’s quite an honor that has been bestowed upon the late legend, The Intimidator. The press release also indicates that Earnhardt became the first race car driver to be featured twice on a Wheaties box. Really? I am surprised he isn’t the the only race car driver to be featured on a Wheaties box just once. I cannot recall another one, and I love my Wheaties.
Wheaties Unveils Dale Earnhardt Commemorative Box [Market Watch]
I have no idea why they would ever even entertain the idea, but I also do not understand why Texas Motor Speedway president Eddie Gossage is going to pay Fort Worth radio station morning show host Terry Dorsey $100,000 to change his name to TexasMotorSpeedway.com.
Dorsey, who is a host of The Dorsey Gang show on 96.3 KSCS, must legally change his name for one year and get a permanent TMS tattoo on his body. He told NBC it was the future Mrs. TexasMotorSpeedway.com that helped him.
“It was my wife who convinced me to do it,” Dorsey said. “She said for the money Eddie was offering, it was something we couldn’t pass up.”
If Dorsey meets the qualifications, the check presentation would take place during the next racing weekend at Texas Motor Speedway on April 15-18.
Lame, but who would pass up that money? Who gives a shit about the tattoo and just because his name is officially TexasMotorSpeedway.com, it doesn’t mean anyone has to refer to him as that. And it’s only for year. Big deal. Even though it is not my given name, my entire family has always referred to me as “Shithead,” and all I got out of it was a crippling anxiety disorder.
Nevertheless, my offer still stands, NBC. Just think about it.
Radio host Terry Dorsey to change name to TexasMotorSpeedway.com for $100,000 [The Dallas Morning News]
Sarah Palin + Daytona 500 = Redneck Nirvana?
Posted by:
I have never claimed to be an expert on Whitetrashians, the prevalent social group amongst fans of NASCAR, but I have to imagine that this is a match made in heaven: former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin will be attending the Daytona 500 after race officials granted her request for credentials. Speedway president Robin Braig addressed the decision:
“We went to NASCAR for their recommendation and they said, ‘Some people are going to like them and some people won’t. NASCAR does not take sides either way. Let’s showcase her as we would our mayor or governor.’ So she comes with NASCAR’s blessing.”
NASCAR spokesman Ramsey Poston said Palin won’t have an official position, such as grand marshal, for the event.
“I expect she will be visible and I expect the media will have questions for her and things like that,” Poston said.
I find it incredibly hard to believe that anyone in attendance will put up much of a fuss about Palin attending. All that is missing to create the redneckian trifecta is get Toby Keith to show up and pistol whip a bunch of foreigners in the infield and it will be day that all NASCAR fans in attendance will likely never forget. Which is a good thing: the Good Lord knows it’s been a hard couple of years for them, with Jeff Foxworthy eschewing more frequent stand-up routines while fixing to demonstrate how he’s more intelligent than all of them on that Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader show. Darn tootin’ they’re smarter – most of them made it all the way to 6th grade, so the joke is on Foxworthy – which is surprising, considering a joke and Foxworthy are normally mutually-exclusive.
Sarah Palin to attend Daytona 500 [Daytona Beach News-Journal]
