Archive for Minor League Baseball
Adult contemporary music enthusiasts in New England were on the receiving end of some bad news passed along yesterday Pawtucket Red Sox public relations man Bill Wanless when he announced that the Kenny Loggins concert at McCoy Stadium on Saturday has had to be rescheduled because of weather concerns associated with Hurricane Earl. The concert, featuring the Boston Pops, will instead take place on September 10th.
Word on the street is once Loggins heard about the potential for inclement weather, he suggested to everyone that they better cut loose, footloose, and avoid the area entirely. According to one insider, Loggins picked up his acoustic guitar and broke the news to the band, roadies and entourage as follows:
I’d say it was the right time
To walk away
When dreaming takes you nowhere
It’s not time to play
Weather’s working overtime
The money don’t matter
The clock keeps ticking
When a hurricane’s on your mind
I will freely admit that this story had little to do with sports, other than the concert is going to be at a minor league ballpark and was reported by ESPN Boston, but I would have been crazy to pass up the opportunity to make some Kenny Loggins references. My only wish would have been that Eddie Rabbit had been the opening act.
Okay, I’m done with my nostalgic journey back into the halcyon days of late 70s soft rock for now. This is it. Seriously.
PawSox reschedule Pops concert [ESPN Boston]
That’s a new one. A fan attending the game between the hometown Richmond Flying Squirrels and the Reading Phillies apparently didn’t much appreciate the nerve of Reading pitcher J.C. Ramirez throwing a pitch to Richmond’s Brandon Belt had no choice but to foul off into the upper deck on the third base side, so he did what any sensible fan did when adhering to the “Gotta Support The Team” mantra: he fired the ball back onto the field, nailing Ramirez in the left leg.
The man, who was identified by security and escorted out of the stadium has been banned for life from The Diamond. No charges have been filed at this point, but Alan Nero, speaking on behalf of Octagon (are the managing partners of Octagon named James Westfall and Doctor Kenneth Noisewater?), the agency who represent Ramirez stated that “there doesn’t seem to be any significant injury to the extent that there would be some sort of lawsuit that would be based on some sort of damage. A decision has not yet been made as to whether any criminal charges will be placed.”
Grainy, Zapruder-quality video follows.
One of the odder minor league baseball promotions – and that’s saying something – took place over the weekend at Historic Grayson Stadium in Savannah, Georgia after the conclusion of a game between the Kannapolis Intimidators and the hometown Sand Gnats: Stuntman and Guinness World Record holder Ted Batchelor lit himself on fire then circled the bases, which presumably was the first time such a stunt was ever attempted, because hey, there are only so many bats**t crazy people in the world who like to set themselves on fire for the fun of it then run around like it’s something to do. Kind of a shame, sure, but I suppose that’s what makes Batchelor’s unique brand of pyromania-satisfying hijinks that much more entertaining.
Video follows.
Off all the talking heads who cover the MLB for ESPN, I would have to say my favorite would be Buster Olney. He doesn’t have a grating personality, he doesn’t make moronic comments (like many of his colleagues) and he seems to know his stuff. That is why I was very pleased to know that tonight, Buster returns to his roots as he will be back in Vermont to make an appearance at Centennial Field, home of the Lake Monsters, the short-season A affiliate of the Washington Nationals. To pay tribute to Vermont’s native son, not only will Olney be throwing out the first pitch, the Lake Monsters will be also be giving out Buster Olney bobbleheads to the first 500 fans in attendance.
As you might recall, last month the Sportress had a story about Tim Kurkijan and his very own Bobblehead Night where I made the following comment, which now appears to be quite the astute observation: “Still, I know a lot of you out there are terribly disappointed about missing your chance. Dry your tears, friends. I am sure there is a Jayson Stark or even a Buster Olney Bobblehead Night on a minor league team’s schedule sometime, somewhere. Dare to dream, folks, and it can become a reality.”
I’m like the Paul the Octopus of ESPN personality bobblehead night prognosticating or something.
Video of Dana Jacobson’s interview with Buster Olney’s bobblehead from First Take as well as Olney’s thoughts about throwing out the first pitch and how he just might be overthinking himself into total failure and humiliation follows.
If you happen to be passing through New Britain, Connecticut on August 13 about noonish, you would be wise to stop on by New Britain Stadium, home of the Minnesota Twins Double-A minor league affiliate Rock Cats, to soak in some rays and catch the Road Dogs, a softball team comprised of the Jonas Brothers and their crew, take on the G.O.A.T.S., a “celebrity” softball team consisting of a collection of random ESPN personalities, headed by none other than Matthew Berry. Whee!
The first pitch for the August 13 game was figuratively tossed in May when the Jonas Brothers were guests on an ESPN Fantasy Focuspodcast. They mentioned their “Road Dogs” team, and ESPN fantasy guru Matthew Berry aka “The Talented Mr. Roto,” challenged them to a game. The team name “G.O.A.T.S,” which is an acronym for “Greatest of All Time” (a common phrase used on the podcast), was submitted by a loyal listener.
While the “Road Dogs” are made up of Nick, Joe and Kevin Jonas, their band mates and road crew, the ESPN “G.O.A.T.S” will present a line-up including Berry, Mike and Mike in the Morning‘s and SportsCenter‘s Mike Greenberg, SportsNation‘s Michelle Beadle, NFL analyst and former All-Pro defensive end Marcellus Wiley, and Baseball Tonight analyst and former MLB player Eduardo Perez. NFL Live host Trey Wingo will add play-by-play and commentary to the game.
Michelle Beadle, you say? Now that ain’t half-bad, not half-bad at all, especially considering the fact that Buzz Killington himself, Colin Cowherd, will be nowhere to be seen.
Apparently, the game is for charity or something – I don’t know, I didn’t finish reading the release on the Rock Cats’ official site after I lost my train of thought. I guess I got distracted while ruminating over the charms of one Michelle Beadle. She can engorge herself on the wiener I got right here anytime she pleases. But I hope she likes Vienna Beef, though, that’s all I have on hand.
Jonas Brothers & ESPN Meet in Softball Challenge [New Britain Rock Cats]
Now, before you get way too excited and begin frantically trying to figure just where in the country Tim Kurkijan Bobblehead Night is and how you can make appropriate arrangements to be at the ballpark to procure yourself one of these much-coveted bad boys, I have to sadly inform you that said Bobblehead Night happened last night. It occurred at Shirley Povich Field at the Bethesda Big Train game against the Herndon Braves.
Here’s the abbreviated recap of the festivities from the Big Train’s website:
Game Notes: Wednesday eveing [sic] Big Train fans enjoyed Tim Kurkjian bobblehead night at the Big Train, with special guest ESPN’s Tim Kurkjian, a local graduate of Walter Johnson High School…
Wow, it’s pretty cool that Kurkijan isn’t so “big time” that he forgets his roots and where he came from. Good on you, Tim Kurkijan.
Still, I know a lot of you out there are terribly disappointed about missing your chance. Dry your tears, friends. I am sure there is a Jayson Stark or even a Buster Olney Bobblehead Night on a minor league team’s schedule sometime, somewhere. Dare to dream, folks, and it can become a reality.
Tim Kurkjian bobblehead night [D.C. Sports Bog]
I know what a lot of you Giants fans are thinking: “Why couldn’t it have been the severed arm of a former major league manager of the San Francisco Giants, like say, Felipe Alou, not a manager for some area minor league team?” Not only would that have done a tremendous disservice to the great adequate performance of the team during Alou’s tenure, but it would have also caused this story to change from a tale of drunken shenanigans to one dealing with a disgusting and horrific act of human dismemberment. And that would make you people real sickos with a twisted desire for bloodlust. Yeesh.
You see, when Darlene Sularski, a cocktail waitress and hostess at Lefty O’Doul’s Restaurant and Tavern in San Francisco, discovered a msyterious package among the bar’s daily mail, she was a bit perturbed. Things grew worse upon opening up the box, when she recoiled in horror after seeing what appeared to be a human arm inside of it.
Thankfully for everyone involved, it was simply the left arm off a mannequin that sits out front of the tavern which is an homage to the bar’s namesake, Lefty O’Doul, a native son of San Francisco who went on to have a successful career in the major leagues and later became a much-beloved minor league manager for the Giants organization. O’Doul managed the Pacific Coast League’s San Francisco Seals from 1937-1951. The left arm which was mailed to the bar had been ripped off the mannequin three years earlier by a couple of inebriated patrons who then took the arm on quite the joyride around the Midwest.
Apparently, it’s a perfectly natural response to the over-hyped, useless spectacle that is the Home Run Derby, so no need to feel bad about it. At least that’s what I gather from an interview ESPN Radio guy Jon Sciambi did with Bob Kimball of USA Today regarding the upcoming event.
The home run is still sexy … no matter what anybody wants to say,” says Jon Sciambi, who will anchor the contest for ESPN Radio from Anaheim, Calif. (Monday, 8 p.m. ET).
Sciambi’s co-anchor, Dave Campbell, agrees:
“I know it’s ESPN television’s highest-rated event of the year in baseball. I think it’s more for the younger people. I don’t think the young people are into the strategy … as much as they are certain exciting parts of the game.”
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. Whoa. You have one guy saying the Home Run Derby is sexy and his cohort claiming it’s more for the younger people? I’m sorry, but that, as Joe Buck (who is pictured above in a nightmare fuel of a panel – seriously, Buck, Steve Phillips, Joe Morgan and the Bermanator? Ay yay yay) would likely agree, is a disgusting act. Shame on you, ESPN.
Come on, I’m just kidding around. Of course, I am just messing around. Obviously, the folks at ESPN are not guilty of being involved with child pornography. Well, some are, but that’s a different story altogether.
Finally, I think we all learned a few things here:
- Home Run Derby: sexy
- Providing play-by-play for a friggin’ Home Run Derby on the radio: unsexy
- The presence of Erin Andrews in any way, shape or form at the Home Run Derby: oh, you better believe that’s sexy
Sports on TV: ESPN aims for more to dig the long ball [USA Today]
When you go to bed tonight and are saying your prayers (because I know you guys still do that), say one for Salt Lake Bees pitcher Sean O’Sullivan. Not only is he serving as the resident ace of the Pacific Coast League team’s pitching staff, another far more demeaning, sexually humiliating role has been “thrust” upon him by the organization.
He’s the team’s resident slump buster. Ewww.
“He’s been our slump buster,” Salt Lake manager Bobby Mitchell said. “He’s pitched really well lately, along with [Daniel] Davidson.”
Now, I am no great baseball mind or anything and I probably should mind my own business, but wouldn’t the fact that he’s pitching well lately cause a team to not want to mess with his mind (among other things) via sexual violation? Of course, I did not read the entire article – I am much, much too busy – but as far as I understand it after consulting Urban Dictionary, “slump buster” only has one general meaning, so I am compelled to base my opinion via that reliable and always accurate source.
Let’s just hope that this O’Sullivan fellow is a bit easier on the eyes than one of Jason Giambi’s purported slump busters from back in the day. For his teammates’ sake.
Bees need ‘slump buster’ to do his stuff [The Salt Lake Tribune]
The end is nigh. Kill me now.
Even though the decline of Western Civilization has been going on for centuries, one does not have to look any further than the televised atrocity that is Jersey Shore. And this is coming from a person who has never seen one friggin’ second of that heaping mass of reality show afterbirth covered in hair gel and cocaine boogers.
In any event, here’s the scoop: the Omaha Royals, the Triple-A affiliate of the Kansas City Royals (I see they are as original in giving themselves a name as they are inept at coming up with promotions) have come with the worst. promotion. ever.
Yep, Jersey Shore Night.
Fans who come to the gate with a blowout or a Snooki-like “bump” hairdo get into the ballpark free of charge. Royals fans who bring a bottle of hair gel or a receipt showing they went tanning also get in to see the Royals play the Colorado Springs Sky Sox Thursday night without opening their wallets.
In between innings, a “fist-pump” cam will capture fans dancing to techno music. The team partnered with local gyms, tanning salons and laundromats to provide coupons so Nebraskans will be able to save a little cash next time they “GTL.”
As I mentioned above, I have never watched the show so I have no idea what any of that means, but it sounds ridiculous.
Ben Hemmen, promotions manager for the Omaha Royals, what say you?
“We have Big Lebowski and Jimmy Buffett coming up,” said Ben Hemmen, the team’s promotions manager. “We just did Wizard of Oz.”
I’ll give them credit for the Big Lebowski promotion and the Wizard of Oz – those aren’t bad. Crap, I’d even prefer to be forced to listen to a bunch of Omahamians bellowing out “Margaritaville” for nine grueling innings than see chicks dress up like Dookie or Pukie or whatever the hell that skank’s name is. Come on, Omaha Royals, look to your minor league cousin to the north, the St. Paul Saints, and see how they go about handling their promotions.
‘Jersey Shore Night’ with the minor-league Omaha Royals [New York Daily News]
