Archive for LPGA
Um, uh, I got a hole-in-one for you right here, Michelle! (points at crotch)
Wait, that doesn’t work at all. In fact, that was a downright embarrassing attempt at sexual innuendo. What happened? What’s wrong with me?
Anyway, Michelle Wie’s hole-in-one on the 190-yard, par-3 11th propelled the talented young golfer to a seven-under 65 and into first place Thursday after the first round of the Canadian Women’s Open, which is conveniently played somewhere in Canada.
It was Wie’s second career hole-in-one, and while excited, she learned from her first career ace last year at the LPGA Championship last year not to go over-the-top with her celebration this time (via an AFP report):
“It got replayed one too many times,” Wie said. “So, just decided against it. I really wanted to, but I didn’t. But it was pretty crazy.”
Indeed it was. Wie was in control the entire round, although after her ace on 11, she bogeyed the next hole, but she closed out her round nicely, finishing with birdies on three of the last six holes, including holing out for a birdie on 17 from the bunker.
By the way, at the timing of this post, Wie is back on the course, one-over through three and retains a one-stroke lead over Karin Sjodin.
Video of her ace and a nifty little photo gallery of the leggy, gifted golfer follows.
Nice.
As regular visitors to the Sportress would surely attest, yours truly is quite the big fan and admirer of Miss Michelle Wie. And as a big fan and admirer, I regularly check out her recipes, artwork and, in Miss Wie’s words, “the stuff that doesn’t quite fit in” on her personal blog, Black Flamingo. But mostly I go there to see if she has uploaded any new photos in which she reveals a different and sexier side of herself than what we usually do not see on the golf course.
And more often than not, I’m rewarded for my efforts, and you guys are fortunate enough to benefit from said effort. If you need confirmation of this, feel free to comb through the vast archives contained within the Sportress. It’s quite easy to do, really: just grab one of the memory crystals shaped like a leggy female golfer that are lying about the Sportress, plug it in to one of the associated holes (ahem) and voila! Pure, Unadulterated Michelle Wie Sexiness!
It’s a beautiful thing, really.
bye bye france till next year [Black Flamingo]
Sure, golfing-wise, it’s a tremendous compliment, but the fact that Yani Tseng, the 21-year-old Taiwanese phenom who won the Women’s British Open on Sunday at Royal Birkdale is now being referrred to as “Taiwan’s Tiger Woods” could end up not being a great thing as it pertains to her life off the golf course.
First of all, while not fair by any stretch of the imagination, as a woman, Tseng developing an international cavalcade of hoochie-mamas will unfortunately not be looked upon in quite the same way as when a man does it. I know it’s unfair, but sadly, that’s just the way it is.
Secondly, given the awful stereotypes regarding the driving skills of Asian women, who knows how bad the one car automobile accident will be which is sure to be the initial source of the undoing of her carefully-crafted public persona. Crazy stuff.
Tseng hailed as Taiwan’s Tiger Woods after winning Women’s British Open [The Canadian Press]
Because it’s okay if you do. It was just an f-bomb, for crying out loud – that just so happened to be picked up my the microphones during the Golf Channel’s coverage of the final round at the Evian Masters in France. Pressel became agitated as she was preparing to take a swing out of a bunker when a bunch of Frenchies started clicking away with their cameras. A clearly frustrated Pressel stepped away from addressing her ball and asked the gallery to put their cameras away. Unfortunately, being French people, they either did not understand her request because they do not speak English or it can be attributed to the fact they are arrogant French assholes. One of the two for sure.
After addressing her ball for the second time, the cameras began clicking again, and that was all Morgan could stands and she couldn’t stands no more as she then admonished the gallery, saying “Are you kidding?! It’s like a f*cking circus.”
Well, I am not sure if the Evian Masters is exactly like a f*cking circus – I mean, where are the clowns, elephants and alion mauling a ringmaster? Nevertheless, I imagine it must have been a terribly frustrating ordeal for the young Pressel. Still, such a potty mouth for such a nice girl.
LPGA Girl Next Door Calls French Gallery a “F*@&ing Circus” [Wei Under Par]
Bad news out of France today – but really, is there ever any good news out of that accursed country? – after becoming ill on the golf course during a Pro-Am round at the Evian Masters, Michelle Wie was driven off the course in a golf cart while being escorted by her mother Bo. No word on whether Michelle’s aunt, Luke, was also in attendance.
We here – actually just me as I’m the only one – at the Sportress enjoy peddling in unsubstantiated rumors and irresponsible speculation since stupid sports blogs are not held to any idealistic journalistic standards nor do any of us who run these awful sites possess any semblance of integrity. With that in mind, I would like to blindly hypothesize as to what may have caused Michelle’s untimely case of the urps:
Totally gnarly hangover, man.
Not buying it? Just take a reasonable – albeit capricious – look at the situation. Here’s a young, trophy golf phenom, in the parlance of out times, 20-years-old, in fact, just below the 21-year-old limit which would allow her to legally imbibe on the sweet stuff, according to our great country’s laws. She finds herself over in Gay Paree, where the attitudes on alcohol use are not quite as draconian as they are here in the States. Michelle starts off with a couple of bottles of some fine wine, moves on to a little Absinthe and before she knows it, she’s three sheets to the wind and passed out dead drunk in a gutter near the Seine. I’ve seen it a million times before – such a shame.
Okay, okay, maybe it’s not that at all. Perhaps Michelle is a good girl who wouldn’t allow herself to get caught up in such a sticky situation. Further, she’s under constant, suffocating supervision of her parents – her mother, in this instance – and maybe she just had a bit of a tummy ache. Poor girl.
On the other hand, maybe this is just some weird publicity stunt connected to the latest product endorsement she’s signed on with – Ipecac.
Hey, it could happen. But in hindsight, I guess I’ll stick with the tummy ache hypothesis. She is such a nice girl, isn’t she?
Michelle Wie gets sick on course; pulls out of Evian Masters pro-am [Game On!]
What? It’s true, isn’t it? Just because your mind happens to be usually in the gutter doesn’t make what I wrote a lie.
Perverts.
In order to see the rainbow, you must first endure the rain [Black Flamingo]
And yes, I believe the rationale employed to get from “Michelle Wie Had A Bad Round” to “Ooh! I’ll do a gallery of sultry photos of her…” is perfectly appropriate. And like any of you were going to argue anyway. Pervs.
The best photos are yet to come, but if I do say so myself, the one above of Michelle Wie struggling through her first round of the U.S. Women’s Open at Oakmont earlier today ain’t half bad, ain’t half bad at all.
An 11-over 82 is certainly not what Wie envisioned, but Oakmont is set up in such a way that Miss Wie will not be the last golfer this week to succumb to the course’s treacherous design.
A selection of quotes from the shell-shocked Wie (via an AP report on Yahoo!):
“There was nothing I could do,” Wie said.
“Mostly I think it was my putting that got me,” she said. “It felt like my irons were good and my wedges were good. I just need to put it in the fairway so I can hit those.”
“They’re pretty tough,” Wie said of Oakmont’s wickedly fast greens. “You just can’t be above the hole, like I did the first hole. I hit a good putt and you just leave yourself 4-5 footers and then you miss a couple. Hopefully (on Friday) I’ll make all the putts I missed today.”
“I try not to get (frustrated),” Wie said. “This was kind of one of those days where nothing goes as planned. But I felt better coming in, so hopefully it starts off on the right foot. I’ll try to go for some birdies and try to (play) on the weekend.”
She sure sounds like she has been well-programmed, doesn’t she? Very Tiger-esque. And boy, do I know how that goes. Not the part where a person can keep their emotions in check after a terrible round of golf, but, you know, about how it feels to hit a 12-over…and that’s usually before I get to the tee box on the first par 3. Zing.
Thankfully for you guys, as mentioned above, I have seized this opportunity (Michelle Wie not playing well at the U.S. Women’s Open) and turned it into something positive (provocative photos!). As regular readers of the Sportress are aware, I have been closely monitoring and chronicling the happenings occurring over at Wie’s personal blog, A Black Flamingo, for some time now. It is a very interesting blog filled with her artwork, favorite recipes and somewhat sultry personal photography projects, among other things. I thought what better time to raid the Sportress archives for all the best photos I have culled from A Black Flamingo (and a random one of her eating a banana as well) and put them into one cohesive gallery? Enjoy!
Oh, Arnie! You dirty, dirty old man! You have balls that are older than Cristie Kerr. I meant golf balls, obviously. I think.
Above we have Arnold Palmer, Cristie Kerr, Paula Creamer and Jerome Bettis posing for a photo which was uploaded by Creamer to Twitter (via Waggle Room) after the four participated in a children’s golf clinic at Oakmont Country Club in advance of the U.S. Women’s Open. They say the camera never lies and as you can see, Arnie was caught gawking at Kerr’s perky breasts – or at least he appears to be.
Arnold, Arnold, Arnold, don’t you know that looking at boobs is like looking at the sun, you don’t stare at them. It’s too risky. You get a sense of them and then you look away.
Some old horndoggers will never learn.
I Don’t Think Arnie Palmer Is Staring at the Grass in This Pic [Waggle Room]
At least I think that’s a bra. Hey man, I’m no Sid Farkus. Further, it’s Friday. Enjoy it for what it is, for crying out loud.
On its best days, I like to think of the Sportress as your one-stop shop for all things LPGA-related – especially when it involves pretty ladies. That is why today, I am pleased to inform you, my dear readers, of the triumphant return of Minea Blomqvist to the LPGA Tour after giving birth to a bouncing baby boy on March 31st. Blomqvist had been on a one-year hiatus due to her pregnancy and is presently competing at the State Farm Classic in Springfield, Illinois.
So, welcome back into the fold, Minea. I hadn’t realized it until just now, but we must have been missing you tremendously during your time away – or at least should have been.
To get you better acquainted with the fresh-faced Finn, I have prepared a photo gallery of Miss Blomqvist for your perusal. I particularly enjoy the one of her with a friend and Charles Barkley. We can only imagine what was going through Sir Charles mind at that moment. On second thought, maybe we don’t want to know.
Minea Blomqvist [Golf Babes]
State Farm Classic Notebook: Baby trumps Blomqvist’s 81 [The State Journal Register]
She’s banned? She’s banned. But what is she gonna do for fruit?
After being fined a record 2 million yen ($21,590) by the Japanese LPGA, golfer Yuko Mitsuka has voluntarily banned herself from competing in 11 upcoming tournaments as a consequence for her immature behavior during the first round of last week’s World Ladies Championship. Mitsuka stormed off the course in a huff during the middle of the round after getting penalized for slow play.
JLPGA chief Hisako Higuchi issued an ominous threat to Mitsuka’s Japanese LPGA players:
“It will have a serious impact on her to miss these tournaments. Let this be a lesson to other golfers.”
Indeed. And this guy means it, too. Apparently, the JLPGA suspended a player for 10 years in 2006 after she falsified her scorecard. Yikes.
Golf-Japanese player bans herself for 11 events [Yahoo!/Reuters]
