I knew eventually this day would come, but that doesn’t mean I cannot be devastated by the news. That’s right: after more than 50 years of comedy, the Smothers Brothers may be calling it quits.

You know, this is just too hard to write about at this moment. Forgive me.

(sobs)

Okay, I feel a little better. On to the usual routine.

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Yes, it’s about that time once again for a bunch of bloggers with no lives to crowd into a virtual game room and engage in a curling tournament. Sounds exciting, doesn’t it?

Well, for those of you who do not find online curling tournaments engaging, here are some items to help you pass the time this evening. Enjoy.

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Why spend a Tuesday night bored off your ass when you can watch some of your favorite blogging personalities engage in an online curling tournament? Exciting, right?

That’s right, Blogs With Stones II is tonight. Action kicks off at 7:30 ET at playcurling.com. If it is the same as last week, the tournament will be held in Room #8 Room #13. I believe you will have to set up an account to enter the room, but it might be worth it and there are always people around interested in a pick-up game. You can also follow the online smack talk at #blogswithstones on Twitter. It’s gonna be off the hook, y’all! So head on over and cheer on your favorite blogger! Or the one you hate the least. It’s up to you, really.

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As regular, devoted readers of the Sportress, you are keenly aware of the incredible effort and intense focus it requires to continually churn out rock solid sports analysis like I do on a daily basis. Because of this, I was unable to adequately prepare a suitable introduction to tonight’s Last Call. I’m sure you will understand. The brilliance on display here can be extremely exhausting.

Ah, who am I kidding? I’m just too lazy to go look for something. Again, I’m sure you folks understand.

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You know, after writing all of these Last Call posts about what happens when people drink too much, I’m beginning to suspect that there might be something about alcohol that causes people to lose their inhibitions and act erratically, even violently at times. It’s a working hypothesis.

Bar security told cops the suspect had been swearing at wait staff and threw a glass after being asked to leave Wednesday night, police reported. Cops said the suspect also spat blood at an officer as he was placed in a patrol wagon outside the Commonwealth Avenue bar. Kyle Brodsky was charged with assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, assault and battery on a police officer and disorderly conduct.

What is particularly shocking about this story is the incident occurred in the Boston area. And here I thought those people could handle their liquor. Learn something new every day.

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In my futile efforts to try and come up with something entertaining – or at the very least interesting – for Last Call that is somehow “last call” related, I came across an article on OK’s website about this being the final season a/k/a “Last Call” for the series Lost.

I imagine that with the devotion that is displayed by Lost loyalists, this must be heartbreaking. Boo-hoo.

I have to admit – I have never seen one episode of the show, not even five minutes. I suppose that makes me an outcast of sorts, but I never got around to watching it. Sure, it looks intriguing and all – I have always been a huge fan of Twilight Zone and The X-Files, so it probably is right up my alley – but there is only so much time for television viewing in the average day. Further, sometimes things get way too overblown and popular and by the time you catch on, it has lost its luster on a personal interest level and you don’t feel like following the crowd. Stupid? Absolutely.

I don’t know, maybe I’ll rent the seasons on DVD or Blu-Ray and watch them or maybe I’ll stick to what I usually do and watch six consecutive reruns of The Office on TBS that I am completely bored with because I have seen them 10 times already.

Yep. I’m one of those lazy, stuck in a routine tools.

Well, onward and upward, I suppose.

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I know this will break the hearts of those of you who stop by the Sportress on Tuesdays for Last Call, but I have no good last call tale for your amusement. To be frank, between you, me and the lamppost. And the desk, this whole bit was feeling a bit tired and played out anyhow.

So, fend for yourselves, kiddos. I got nothing.

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Above is the sign for Club Evolution, a gay bar in Foley, Alabama. The owner for Club Evolution, Sixto Rivera, Jr., is arguing that a new ordinance requiring all bars to close at 2:00 a.m. hurts his business more than other drinking establishments. Further, he claims that the ordinance is simply a means to shut down his club.

“If you say there’s a problem, let’s see it with your own eyes,” Rivera told council members. “Don’t do this, because you’re taking away my rights as an American; my rights as a business owner and their rights as voters and citizens. To have the same rights as you people who were born and raised here in Foley.”

Rivera said city officials are trying to close the bar because some of his customers are gay.

“They call me a gay club,” he said. “If that’s what you’re going to call me, that’s what you’re going to call me because I’m open to everybody.”

I don’t know, maybe the fact that the sign has interlocking transgender-intersexual symbols might have something to do with the assumption that the bar caters to, shall we say, less “traditional” clientele,” at least what the term “traditional clientele” may mean in Alabama.

I’m sure the patrons of Club Evolution are relieved that Sixto Rivera, Jr. isn’t going down without a fight. Wait, that’s not right.

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Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but any mental bleach you may have on hand would probably be helpful right about now. Jeebus.

So, here is how I managed to find this image like this on the internet:

1. Google News search for “last call”;
2. See story about how it is last call for free Star Trek online beta keys, whatever that means;
3. Ponder what angle to use for post, come up with “do Google image search for ’sexy Star Trek’;
4. Find horribly awkward image of Spock and Kirk sharing a bath;
5. …
6. Profit?

Well, we’ll have to see how profitable an endeavor this turns out to be, but until then, carry on my wayward son.

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Konichiwa, bitches! Guess who’s back?

No. It’s me. Weed. You know, the guy who writes half-assed dickjokery that you will occasionally read if you have nothing better to do? Ringing a bell at all? Oh well.

Anyhoo, as I tend to do for these Last Call posts, here is another tale of a last call gone awry. Poor, poor Joshua Rock, a 22-year-old mouthbreather who, when denied last call at the Island Bar in Butler, Pennsylvania on Saturday, January 2nd, shot 29-year-old bartender Adam Christy twice in the stomach. Christy ended up in critical condition and Rock wound up at Butler County Prison charged with attempted homicide and aggravated assault. Man, no drink is worth that – unless it was the world’s biggest Long Island Iced Tea. Those are yummy.

Alrighty, on to the usual routine.

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