Archive for Hockey
Come on, mom: let them fight! Let them fight! Let them fight!
Because there is no chance of me setting up the video any better than the guy who originally posted it, Puck Daddy’s own Greg Wyshynski, I’ll allow his eloquent words to set the stage:
One warrior is unceremoniously dumped to the ice by an alleged ally. He slashes his assailant on the ankle, rises, turns, and lets loose an animalistic swat with his arm. They glare at each other as billowing rage blankets the rink. Suddenly, the aggrieved player sheds his mitts, drops his stick and prepares to seek his vengeance …
… Until his mommy tells him to stop, that is.
Fan-freaking-tastic. That video gets better every time I watch it. When the one kid drops the gloves, I absolutely lose it. Although, I found his fighting stance to be a bit lacking in balance and technique, but a couple sessions at Derek Boogaard’s Fighting Camp would definitely clear up those minor flaws.
Video: When moms ruin perfectly good youth hockey fights [Puck Daddy]
(head asplodes)
Wha?
Trust me. I’m as confused as you are, but apparently Kevin Smith, he of Clerks, Mallrats and Chasing Amy renown – you know, when his movies were good? – is currently writing a script for a hockey movie which will be filmed in Detroit. One hurdle the portly filmmaker had to hoist himself over was getting the permission of one Mitch Albom, he of Tuesdays with Morrie and “making crap up about sporting events that he didn’t attend and submitting a column about it” fame.
Apparently – and this is where it gets weird – Mitch Albom once wrote a song for the late, great Warren Zevon entitled “Hit Somebody” which is about a Canadian hockey player who is only good at fighting (on a side note, I believe this song predicted the arrival of Derek Boogaard, but that’s another story altogether).
In any event, that’s some crazy stuff. Who knew Mitch Albom could also write half-assed, schlocky song lyrics, too? I mean, I knew about the emotionally manipulative novels and his tepid, smarmy brand of sportswriting, but this, too?
Kelley L. Carter of the Detroit Free Press sat down with Mr. Kevin Smith to discuss the upcoming project for the film auteur which will reportedly star Seann William Scott.
Yeah, this entire idea keeps looking better and better.
I use this line a lot but never has it been so fitting and so perfectly articulating of what I am thinking right now about the film (from Canada, of course), Score: A Musical:
WHO ARE THE AD WIZARDS WHO CAME UP WITH THIS ONE????
Via Puck Daddy:
“Score: A Hockey Musical” has been on our radar since it was reported that Olivia Newton-John was going to be in the cast as a hockey mom; which naturally stirred nostalgic feelings of seeing her saunter into practice in a leather outfit and purring “tell me about it, stud” to the bewildered coach. It gives us chills. They’re multiplying.
The trailer for this potential camp masterpiece is out and the thing looks like equal parts “Glee,” “High School Musical” and the worst “Mighty Ducks” sequel never produced. (Oh, to have heard the dramatic torch song Goldie the Goalie could have belted in an empty concession stand.)
Hoo boy. Wysh has a bunch of other interesting nuggets regarding the afterbirth of celluloid, but try as he might, Wysh cannot explain why the people behind this project do not deserve to be drawn and quartered while simultaneously being forced to watch episodes of Cop Rock (here’s the intro to that abomination of a television show, which features Randy Newman and when featuring Randy Newman singing the theme song is the best thing going for a show, it’s in big, big trouble).
Jebus.
Video: Try not to cringe at the ‘Score: A Hockey Musical’ trailer [Puck Daddy]
Since his dismissal as the head coach of the Phoenix Coyotes last year, Wayne Gretzky has found himself with a lot of time on his hands. And what better way to waste away the days then by making more fat stacks of cash becoming affiliated with a first second-rate hockey game for the Wii?
Set for a September 7th release, NHL Slapshot will feature Wayne Gretzky on the cover, is geared towards children and features a hockey stick controller.
EA, not surprisingly, vows the 21-inch/53-cm stick peripheral that ships with each game will revolutionize video game hockey. But [lead producer Joe] Nickolls makes the point that the stick is the first third-party controller peripheral that Nintendo has approved for inclusion with a game, and that EA’s NHL franchise is too valuable to sabotage with a gimmick that doesn’t live up to its promise.
Nickolls says that because the stick peripheral holds both the Nunchuk (in the butt end of the stick, with the analog stick used for moving your player) and the Wiimote (further down the shaft, with the trigger used as a modifier to execute certain moves), it’s more accurate than the Wiimote alone.
“Because you’re getting two signals sent to the Wii, it triangulates the signal. So it basically gives you more accuracy,” Nickolls says, adding that WiiMotion Plus won’t be supported by NHL Slapshot because it’s essentially not needed.
The stick peripheral will detect slap shots, wrist shots, body checks (done with a cross-check motion) and poke checks, with the Wiimote’s trigger used as a modifier to perform passes, dekes and other moves. The game can also be played with the Wiimote and Nunchuk alone, or even just the Wiimote.
Color me impressed. But for those of you still not convinced, are you willing to argue with this ringing endorsement from The Great One?
“It’s one of the those games that you could sit down and you’ll be able to play for hours. It’s very realistic … it’s almost like playing in the NHL.”
Yep. Just like playing in the NHL, Wayne. The same way playing the original Mario Bros. trained you to be a kick-ass plumber. Come on.
EA hockey comes to Wii with NHL Slapshot [Load This]
EA Sports partners with Wayne Gretzky to bring NHL video game to Nintendo Wii [Washington Examiner]
Let me put it to you this way: when those above four things mesh into one confusing promotion, stuff gets wacky.
Apparently, those unlucky souls across the pond have not yet had the pleasurable opportunity of seeing the brilliant film, The Tooth Fairy, starring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson…until now. The film is being released today nationwide in Britain, and in celebration of such a wonderful event, The Guardian, with the support of UK dental organization Denplan, has put together a nice little contest. Given the stereotype that the British take notoriously bad care of their teeth, I guess The Guardian considers The Tooth Fairy not only a delightful romp, but also a way to better educate its readers on proper dental hygiene.
Great idea, but I have to say that Hedley & Wyche (The British Toothpaste) really missed a great chance to expand its market reach.
Back to the contest (via The Guardian):
Denplan is celebrating the cinema release of Tooth Fairy by offering you the chance to win a fantastic ice hockey prize. The winner will receive four tickets to an Elite Ice Hockey League match*, two nights’ stay in two twin rooms at a local 4-star hotel including breakfast for a family of four, £100 towards travel and spending money, a black Xacti digital movie camera, two NHL hockey shirts for a team of the winner’s choice, and a 5′ air hockey table.
Two NHL shirts, an air hockey table AND breakfast? Where do I sign up? Oh, right down there at the bottom of the article. I see.
Win a fantastic ice hockey prize [The Guardian]
In Russia, Stick Slapshots You!
Posted by:Yes, I went there. Yakov Smirnoff would be proud, if he wasn’t so dead on the inside.
One thing you can say about the Russians, it’s that they are passionate about pretty much everything. Sometimes psychotically passionate, sure, but they care, and that’s what counts.
On March 14th, Avtomobilist Ekaterinburg was facing the visiting Salavat Yulaev Ufa in a KHL playoff game when a crazed (but passionate, remember) fan somehow got close enough to Salavat Yulaev Ufa’s backup goalie, Vitaly Kolesnik, to grab the stick out of his hands and hit the goaltender hard enough to bust his head open. Sheesh.
Kolesnik was taken to the hospital and diagnosed with a concussion, and backup goalie, who played for the Colorado Avalanche at one time, is relieved that was all he suffered, because according to doctors, it could have been much, much worse.
“I guess I was lucky.
“Doctors who treated me said if the hit was just a centimeter or two to the side, I could have been dead or left paralyzed.”
Scary stuff, man.
The KHL jumped to action – because they are first-class and well-run organization, of course – in Bizarro World – and fined Avtomobilist Ekaterinburg 1 million roubles ($34,000) for not providing adequate security. Yeah, that’ll learn ‘em. But what about the goofy bastard who attacked Kolesnik? Police said the man faces criminal charges, which in Russia I assume means a one-way train ticket to Siberia. The Russians still send people to Siberia, right? If they don’t, well, they should.
Video: Fan attacks KHL goalie with stick on team bench [Puck Daddy]
Fan grabs goaltender’s stick and hits him over head [Reuters]
Here you go.
To each their own, I say. Some people can get off to some crazy stuff. I have heard stories about guys who actually rub one out while looking at photos of Cindy Brunson playing backgammon, for crying out loud.
Not me, of course. I’m more of a “Cindy Brunson playing Parcheesi” kind of guy. Call me a little odd, but I find the “Royal Game of India” to be incredibly erotic.
Okay, ESPN female anchor masturbatory references aside, Miss Cohn had a wonderful time playing hockey at the Pond in Anaheim Sunday, as evidenced by her comments on Twitter:
What a blast! Good news I stopped 41 shots. Bad news we lost 9-1. Sending pix soon. Watch late Sportscenter tonight. Think I made Top plays!
Ooh, pics, you say? Kinky.
Man, you have to give the I.O.C. credit for how quickly they are able get video of Olympic events taken down off YouTube and other media sites. They are damn near as efficient and stealthy at extinguishing any potential uprising or questioning of their supreme authority as the Gestapo.
Obviously, I would have loved to have embedded the video of Alexander Ovechkin absolutely destroying Jaromir Jagr during Russia’s 4-2 dispatching of the the Czech Republic yesterday. It was easily one of the highlights of the Olympics thus far and Ovie hit Jagr so hard any future offspring of Jaromir’s are going to be born dizzy. Further, it was a huge moment in the game itself, as the hit was the catalyst to Evegeni Malkin’s second goal of the game only 1:49 into the third period which gave the Russians a commanding 3-1 lead.
Of course, you can see video of the hit here. But do you know what the IOC Secret Police In Charge Of Copyright Enforcement and Protection)(SPICOCEP, for short) cannot do? At least at this point, they cannot prevent animated .gifs like the one below from seeing the light of the day.
Sure, it’s not perfect or incredibly clear, I think this qualifies as scoring one for the little guy. ¡Viva la Revolucion!
Malkin Scores 2, Russia Reaches Hockey Quarters [ABC News]
Ovechkin earns gold for open-ice Jagr destruction; was it legal? [Puck Daddy]
Hey, I wouldn’t have done it if I wasn’t required to do so in accordance with the Articles and Bylaws of Sports Bloggery. My hands were tied here, which is also how I envision the condition Gary Coleman’s hands shortly after this photo was snapped.
BAM! How do you like them apples? Which is what I imagine Mark Messier said while teabagging Gary Coleman shortly after this photo was taken.
HEY-OH! Actually, this whole act is just plain wrong – which is what I imagine Mark Messier said after teabagging Gary Coleman shortly after the above photo was taken.
What’s that? Oh yeah, the Mark Messier news. Yeah, apparently he’s been named the general manager for the 2010 IIHF World Hockey Championship by Hockey Canada, which is scheduled to take place May 7th through the 23rd in Germany. So, that’s pretty cool for Messier – I am sure he is very proud, which I reckon is the exact opposite of the way he felt shortly after the above photo was taken.
HOCKEY CANADA NAMES MESSIER GM OF 2010 WORLDS [TSN]
What we have here is 18-year-old Swede Henrik Andersen celebrating a nifty forehand-to-backhand-through-the-defenseman’s-legs goal for his Swedish Tier 2 team Leksand, the first of the season. Things didn’t go well or as planned when Anderson breaks through the glass by the endboards and winds up on his ass outside the rink.
Thankfully, according to Sean Leahy over at Puck Daddy, Andersen was not injured and his team went on to beat Bjorkloven 4-0.
Bjorkloven? Hey, I love the Icelandic singer-songwriter as much as the next guy – which is not at all – but there’s no way I’m naming my team after that nutjob.
His crash through the glass reminds me of Minnesota Wild enforcer – and one of my all-time favorite players – Derek BOOOOGAAARD!!, and how he went flying through the glass on a missed check during his time in minors. Video after the jump.
