Archive for College Hockey

After squandering a two-goal first period lead, Yale regrouped and held UMass Lowell in check for the rest of regulation with the Bulldogs ultimately beating the River Hawks by a score of 3-2 in a Frozen Four overtime thriller.

UMass Lowell’s Connor Hellebuyck made 44 saves but couldn’t stop Yale senior captain Andrew Miller, who scored 6:59 into the overtime session. With the semifinals win, Yale advances to the Men’s Division 1 National Championship Game on Saturday, where the team will take on either Quinnipiac or St. Cloud State, two teams that took the ice shortly after Yale’s win in Pittsburgh on Thursday night.

Categories : College Hockey
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Since I trust that most readers of the Sportress of Blogitude are savvy, intelligent individuals with impeccable taste, I will do my best to forgo inundating everyone with too many references to the Coen Brothers classic, The Big Lebowski. But if I do,please forgive me if I cannot help myself here and there, although I will attempt to keep them at a minimum.

First off, far out, man. Secondly, given that the goalie who is rocking the mask bearing the image of Jeffrey Lebowski, otherwise known as The Dude, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you’re not into the whole brevity thing, is a goaltender for Western Michigan University Broncos who happens to go by the name of Frank Slubowski.

His last name, which on its own is bad ass enough, so closely resembles The Dude’s given surname it was almost a no-brainer that teammates bestowed upon him the Lebowski-esque moniker of The Big Slubowski. Hopefully, that does not bother him too much. I have no idea if Slubowski’s got emotional problems, man. You know, beyond pacifism. Or whether or not he hates the f’n Eagles, man.

Sorry, couldn’t help myself.

The tribute mask was created for Slubowski by Head Strong Grafx and it features The Dude admiring his rug, which can be seen in the reflection of his shades. As you know, it really tied the room together. And this guy peed on it. Sigh, sorry again.

Are there are more images below? Of course there are. Don’t be fatuous, people.

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Awesome. According to NHL.com, this brilliant little piece of trickery was pulled off by members of the CCHA’s Western Michigan Broncos hockey team during a 5-on-3 power play. As the play develops, three Broncos set up shop and spread out back on the point in the offensive zone. The player at the right point passes the puck across as both players wind up like they are going to rocket a one-timer but Dennis Brown lets the puck pass through his legs and the puck ends up on Matt Tennyson’s tape where he then rockets it into the back of the net. Beautiful goal. Well done, boys.

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Why is that, you ask? Well, since the name of the  Rhode Island School of Design hockey team is the Nads and the mascot’s name is “Scrotie,” I’ll allow you to draw your own conclusions.

Seriously, it’s the truth. The mascot for RISD’s hockey team is a person dressed up as a penis. Goodness knows how long people have known about RISD and their phallic mascots, but it’s new to me. Update: Deadspin Editor Emeritus Will Leitch had a post about Scrotie all the way back in 2006, so I’m way late to this one. Still funny though.

From the school’s official site:

NADS Ice Hockey

RISD’s NADS Ice Hockey club has been in existence since 1961. Quality of effort has been steady for those many years while quality of play has varied wildly. The NADS’ ebullient fans include students of both art and design and a large phallus named ‘Scrotie’. Come join the other loud and sometimes needlessly gaudy fans as we defend the honor of our honor.

So there you have it. I suppose when a school counts Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane as one of its most prestigious alumni, I suppose this all makes perfect sense and nothing about this particular institute of higher learning should come as a surprise to anybody. For instance, like how their basketball team is called the Balls. Seriously. Look it up.

After the jump, a photo of Scrotie as well as an amusing flier. It should go without saying that a man dressed up as a penis might be NOT SAFE FOR WORK.

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Categories : College Hockey, Whimsy
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Christian Laettner, one of the most notorious douchebags ever spawned by the Duke Blue Devils basketball program, has announced his intention to begin working out with first-year ABA team Jacksonville Giants. Boy, how lucky are those guys, right?

But have no fear, anti-Dukies, Laettner has no intention of reviving his satisfyingly marginal professional basketball career; the petulant, pretentious and pompous former pro simply has grown tired of his regular workout routine and thought it would be a hoot to practice with the Giants, who are based only a short distance away from his home in Ponte Vedra Beach, and dazzle players he undoubtedly believes will gladly genuflect and bask in his magnificent aura of success…at least in the college ranks.

Via The Florida Times-Union:

“I’m tired of my daily routine workouts and look forward to a little five-on-five with these Giants,’’ Laettner said.

Poor Christian Laettner. Nothing to do to pass the time but work out and then spend hour upon hour admiring himself in the mirror. It’s a hard knock life, but I guess somebody’s got to do it.

Former Duke star Christian Laettner to work out with Jacksonville Giants [The Florida Times-Union]

Categories : College Hockey, NBA
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Sure, the better known line about mopeds is that they’re like fat chicks:  both fun to ride until your friends find out, but up here in Minnesota, we like to put a hockey spin on sayings regarding mopeds – and boy, there are lot of saying about mopeds, aren’t there? – especially when a player for our beloved Minnesota Golden Gophers hockey team gets in a pretty serious on-campus accident riding one of those wussy motorbikes.

Zach Budish, a sophomore forward on the Gophers straight off the mean streets of Edina, Minnesota, was injured on the University of Minnesota campus Monday while operating a moped. Seriously, how sad is that? Details regarding the incident are sketchy at the moment, but it is believed that Budish shredded his ACL and will likely miss the rest of the season. Budish, a second round pick in the 2009 NHL Entry Draft and currently property of the Nashville Predators, had six points in seven games this season and apparently looked pretty beat up as a result of the moped accident, so says his father (via the Star Tribune):

“He looked like he went 10 rounds with Rocky Balboa,” said Kim Budish, Zach’s father, referring to the underdog boxer in the “Rocky” movies. “He has cuts right above his right eyebrow and on his cheek.”

Jesus. It’s been a rough year for hockey players in the state as it pertains to alternative modes of transportation. Minnesota Wild center James Sheppard broke his left kneecap in an ATV accident in September and will likely be out for the season as well. I’m not usually one to overreact, but if I even here one peep about Mikko Koivu buying a unicycle, I am going to completely freak out.

Moped accident could sideline Budish for rest of season [Star Tribune]

Categories : College Hockey
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Jeez, if it isn’t hard enough to be a college athlete these days that when one gets mixed up in a murder case, his team drops him like a bad habit. Rotten deal, man.

Still, that is exactly what happened to 23-year-old Jared Britton, who became one of ten players suspended from the University of Wisconsin-Stout’s hockey team after it was announced by the incredibly stern, iron-fisted chancellor of the university, Charles Sorensen. Britton and another player on the team, Jedidiah McGlasson, 21, have been charged with assault and party to the crime of felony murder in relation to the beating death of Bradley Simon at a bar on September 18th. Simon allegedly involved in an altercation with Britton and McGlasson at a bar in Menonomie, Wisconsin. During the altercation, Simon hit his head and died days later.

A taciturn Chancellor Sorensen meted out the suspensions on Wednesday, stating that the students’ actions were in direct violation of the Student-Athlete Code of Conduct (via The Vancouver Sun):

“It contains specific guidelines for behaviour, both on and off the field, including actions while engaging in high risk alcohol use,” Sorensen said on the school’s website.

Hello, Chancellor Sorensen? I hate to break it to him and I apologize for dropping a bunch of Latin legal mumbo jumbo on you readers, but there are laws in this country which protect a person’s rights when charged with a crime: it’s called carpe diem, folks. Wait. Or is it caveat emptor? Whichever it is, this Sorensen guy doesn’t appear to understand these highfalutin concepts.

(note: before anyone gets all up in arms, it’s called satire people. While certainly not a humorous situation, I simply find it absolutely absurd that a university feels compelled to take a somewhat defensive stance when explaining why it has suspended a couple of goons who may have played a significant role in another person’s death. Should that really be necessary?)

Hockey player charged with murder suspended from team [The Vancouver Sun]

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