Archive for College Football
Tim Tebow Is As Dumb As A Box Of Rocks
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Well, as far as results of his Wunderlic test are concerned. But you know what they say, standardized tests like the Wunderlic have been known to be notoriously biased against Christians.
Yep, not only is Tebow lagging far behind other draft-eligible quarterbacks in the, you know, actually being able to play the position department, Mister Perfect scored a measly 22 on the Wunderlic, which is considered below average. For quarterbacks entering the draft, the average score is 24. Even worse for Tebow, when the Wonderlic test is used as a barometer for future success in the NFL, there’s this statistic: the last seven Super Bowl-winning quarterbacks averaged 30.1 on the test.
What makes Tebow’s test results even curiouser is he considered something of a dynamo during his academic career at the University of Florida.
Tebow, though, was celebrated for his academic as well as athletic achievement during his four years at Florida. In 2009 he won the National Football Foundation’s William V. Campbell Trophy, otherwise known as the “Academic Heisman,” for his success on the field, in the classroom and community leadership.
Tebow graduated Florida with a 3.66 GPA as a Family, Youth and Community Services major, and he is a three-time member of the SEC Academic Honor Roll and a two-time First Team Academic All-American.
That leaves only two conclusions: either the University of Florida is a below-average university or the Wunderlic test is bullshit.
Or could it be a little of both?
Paper: Tim Tebow lags behind other top QB prospects on Wonderlic [USA Today]
Tim Tebow scores below average on NFL’s Wonderlic test [The Palm Beach Post]
Someone Should Explain To Boise State’s Kyle Wilson What The Word Ostentatious Means
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Man, would you look at that? My best guess is that Kyle Wilson isn’t lacking in the self-confidence department. This is the bus Wilson showed up in for the NFL Scouting Combine and I must admit, if he was trying to make a grand entrance, he nailed it.
If John Madden were running an NFL team, he would draft this guy with the first overall pick.
Scouts, Inc. has Wilson ranked as the third best corner in this year’s draft and the 29th best player overall. But in the often-overlooked measurement of over-the-topexterity, my sources tell me Wilson is rated as a 4-Id player, which I am told is pretty good.
Boise State’s Kyle Wilson Travels to the Combine In Style [Total Pro Sports]
It’s A Blessing To Know That Tim Tebow Feels So Blessed
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In an interview at the NFL Combine over the weekend, Tim Tebow wanted to make sure everyone knew how truly blessed he feels by using some variation of the word five times in one quote of only thirty-nine words.
Via Pro Football Talk:
“Well, I have been truly blessed. And the past four years have been a blessing to me. My whole career has been a blessing. I’ve truly been blessed. . . . So I just look at all the criticism . . . as another blessing.”
Yeah, we get it, Tebow, you have been blessed, truly blessed even. It’s like a total blessing. In fact, Tebow is so friggin’ blessed that his blanky as a kid was the Shroud of Turin, his toy box was the Ark of the Covenant, he spent his youth playing Pick-Up Sticks with pieces of the True Cross, drank his Sunny D out of the Holy Grail and every soft shell taco he ever ate had the image of Christ cooked into it. I’m talking about Xtreme Blessing here, people – curing lepers and restoring sight levels of blessing.
Tim Tebow defends Urban Meyer, breaks record for using word “blessing” [Pro Football Talk]
Tim Tebow: ‘I Choose Not To Throw!’
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Once again, Tim Tebow has demonstrated his belief that he should be able to dictate how things related to his quest to become an NFL quarterback should go. Tebow, as reported by NFL Network’s Michael Lombardi, has stated that he will not throw at the NFL Scouting Combine this week in Indianapolis. The Great Tebow claims he is working on altering his delivery, which he will debut March 17th at the Florida’s pro day.
“I think I’m definitely open to improving my fundamentals,” Tebow said then. “I think I definitely showed that by being here. If you just watched the way I played, you could see there is room for improvement and what I need to work on.”
It must have been so hard – so very, very difficult – for Mr. Perfect to be forced to admit that currently, he is not God’s gift to the NFL quarterback position. The fact that he waited this long to realize it only confirms Tebow’s overinflated sense of just where his preparedness for the next level was really at. Further, his unwillingness – up until this point – to listen to the many people who advised him that without changing his delivery and working at taking the snap from center, his chances to succeed in the NFL would be slim to none.
Stubborn fella, that Tebow. Not very Christian of him, is it?
Wait, stubbornness is one of the Seven Deadly Sins, right? Isn’t that the reason why mules are called asses? And since stubbornness was the seventh of the Seven Deadly Sins, that was the reason why Mad Jack the Mountain Man’s mule was named Number Seven on Grizzly Adams, correct?
Or am I just really confused here? Somebody answer me.
Tebow will not throw at combine while he’s changing his delivery [NFL.com]
Joe Theismann Is One Magnificent A**hole
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I know. Shocking, right?
For some reason or another, there are some people out there who still want to hear what Joe Theismann thinks about stuff. Theismann (hilariously photographed above with former teammate Mark Moseley) was making his rounds up and down Radio Row (I can imagine him saying crap like, “Hey, want to interview me? No? Do you know who I am? I used to be somebody!”) when Joe found unwitting victim willing to interview him, Mike Dempsey of Jacksonville radio station 1010XL.
The topic of Tim Tebow came up, because, well, how can you possibly have a discussion about football without talking about Tim Tebow? Bitter Old Man Theismann opined that Jesus’ favorite quarterback (sorry, Kurt Warner – it is what it is) should have retired from football with his sterling athletic reputation intact.
Joe Theismann, you ignorant slut.
For about the 100th time in recent memory, a sports apparel manufacturing company is electing to do some good with championship paraphernalia that could not be used because, you know, the team ended up losing.
This time it is clothing and hats that were made in anticipation of a Texas Longhorns victory in their January showdown with the Alabama Crimson Tide in the BCS National Championship Game. As you may recall, Texas QB Colt McCoy was injured early on and that was about all she wrote as the Longhorns lost 37-21, despite freshman quarterback Garrett Gilbert’s gutsy relief performance. Unfortunately, fourteen thousand burnt orange Texas Longhorns shirts and hats emblazoned with “BCS National Champions” were left unused.
According to the Austin American-Statesman, the University Co-op, who is working with Kids in Distressed Inc., will send all of those unused clothing items to Haiti.
“With the terrible tragedy and loss the Haitian people have suffered and are still experiencing, we do realize this donation may not be a very high priority for them,” said George H. Mitchell, the University Co-op president. “However, we all need clothing and this is a small contribution we can make to assist in their recovery.”
All kidding aside, it is nice that all the clothing that would have been otherwise thrown away or left to sit in some warehouse can be put to good use. On the other hand, all the Haitians who will benefit from the donated Texas Longhorns apparel will never truly understand the brilliance and majesty that is Alabama head coach Nick Saban and accordingly will not look upon him with the appropriate amount of reverence and respect he ultimately deserves. And that, my friends, cannot stand.
ROLL TIDE!
College Sports blog: Texas’ unused BCS national champions gear to go to Haiti [The Dallas Morning News]
Why Wouldn’t I Post This Photo Of Terrence Cody’s Man Boobs? That Is The Question
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I know every blog under the sun has already published a post about former Alabama defensive tackle Terrence Cody’ s, ahem, figure, that he debuted at the first day of practice at the Senior Bowl. At first, I thought, what’s the point? Then I realized that I would be doing myself a tremendous disservice not publishing it and having that wonderful photo a part of the Sportress of Blogitude’s archives for all eternity – or at the very least, until I refuse to pay the annual fee to my hosting site.
So there you have it, folks, in all its splendor. Soak it all in. Terrence Cody is the reason cavemen painted on walls.
And one last thing about posting this a day late: if and when the aliens come down and force humankind into slavery so they can harvest whatever it is the aliens want out of our planet (seashells?), you never know which sports blog they will want to read to pass the time. If they choose my humble blog, at least we can take comfort in the fact that Terrence Cody’s tits will never be forgotten even after humanity has taken its last dying breath. And that’s a good thing.
Site News: I’m sorry to say on that note, the Sportress will be shut down on Thursday and Friday due to some personal affairs that unfortunately need to be attended to. I expect to be writing over at Out of Bounds this weekend so come visit me over there if you like. And as always, thanks for reading.
See you on Monday.
I Wonder If Bob Mould’s Favorite College Football Player Is That Husker Suh
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Ha ha ha. Get it? You know, because Bob Mould was in Hüsker Dü and Ndamukong is a Husker with the last name Suh, which is pronounced “soo”? The only difference is that in Suh’s case, the word “Husker” needs those little two dots over the “u”, then it would rhyme perfectly. What are those damn things called? Umlauts, you say? Nah, that’s doesn’t even sound like a word. Seriously, that makes no sense at all. I guess, in a way, it makes no difference at all.
That’s good stuff you won’t find on other sports blogs. Probably because those other sites have better things to do, but maybe it’s because I’m much, much more clever-er than those guys.
To avoid any conflicts with their football team’s participation in the National Championship game on January 7th, the University of Alabama has canceled all classes for January 6th through January 8th.
The school said Tuesday that students will have to make up for the lost class time. They have two days of classes upon returning from the Christmas break before getting another respite.
Alabama cited the number of students who have to be in Pasadena, Calif., and those students and staff who want to attend the game.
Makes sense. To be honest, I was planning to use this news story as a way to make fun of how low a priority academics are at a school like the University of Alabama, but I did some checking, and surprisingly, according to U.S News & World Report, the University of Alabama is tied for 43rd in its 2010 rankings of best public universities. You learn something new every day.
Despite this little factoid, I will still maintain that people who live in Alabama are all big dummies. I read it on the internet, so you know it’s true.
‘Bama calls off classes from Jan. 6-8 for title game [CBS Sports]
Now that just about any person with previous coaching experience (Pat Summitt, you’re next) will have their name bandied about as a possible replacement for Charlie Weis as head coach of the Notre Dame football program, Tony Dungy has decided to launch a preemptive strike regarding the speculation that he will be a candidate to fill the rather large void created by Weis’ absence. In fact, Dungy doesn’t even care about mathematical principles as they pertain to his non-interest in the job. Via The Huddle:
“Is there anything less than a 0% chance of that happening?” Dungy said to ESPN. His comments echo those he made two weeks ago that he’s not interested in a coaching job at any level.
First, I am no mathemagician and I could be totally wrong about this, but I’m fairly certain that there is no such thing as a negative percentage.
Jeez, a person must really want to make a strong point to casually fly in the face of thousands of years of mathematical theory. To the souls and legacies of great mathematicians from Pythagoras to Sir Isaac Newton to that dude from A Beautiful Mind, Tony Dungy says “Screw you guys!”
Tony Dungy: ‘Less than a 0% chance’ he’ll become Notre Dame coach [The Huddle]
