Archive for Cheerleader of the Week
You know, sooner or later, I’m going to write something mean enough about an SI Cheerleader of the Week that it will get back to them and then their boyfriend is going to threaten to kick my ass. Hopefully, it won’t happen with this one because I’m in no mood. No mood I tell you!
Anyway, allow me to introduce you to the SI Cheerleader of the Week: Kayli Fahl, a delightfully cheery young lady who is a sophomore at the University of Cincinnati majoring in psychology (hey, a fellow pscyh psych major – good luck in the accounting field, Kayli). Like all of the other Cheerleaders of the Week, Kayli is a very unique person with a wide range of interests far beyond the cutthroat world of college cheerleading. Let’s explore them, shall we?
Continuing my dedication to you, my dear readers, I am once again pleased to present to you SI’s Cheerleader of the Week, because how can I expect you to go to Extra Mustard all by yourself? What kind of host would I be to do that? Not a good one, that’s for sure. Yeah, I’m cool that way.
This week we have Nichole Howarth, who I must say is absolutely adorable. Look at her – what a doll. You know that saying, “I would eat the corn out of her shit just to see where it came from”? That ain’t applicable in Nichole’s case – I would be shocked if she actually pooped. Look, she even spells her name cutely, with the “h” and everything!
Anyhoo, the lovely Miss Nichole is a senior at Virginia Tech majoring in Business Management and Human Resources and she hails from Chesterfield, Virginia.
Whatever that means.
I’m fairly confident we have not come across a more attractive Cheerleader of the Week since the Sportress began documenting them. Meet Vanessa Marrero, a transplanted New Yorker attending Florida International University. Vanessa is a senior majoring in advertising at FIU, but clearly she also has an undeclared minor in Spankbankology.
Need further evidence? Jump on through, friend.
SI’s Cheerleader Of The Week Kristen Might Be A Nasty Girl, Have Lecherous Father
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Usually, when I write something about an SI Cheerleader of the Week, more often than not the primary area of discussion tends to revolve around their, ahem, physical attributes. Today we’re going in a different direction.
It’s not that Kristen Bolinger, a junior majoring in Communications-Public Relations at North Carolina State University, is not a cute girl, it’s just that the answers she provided to the questionnaire that SI gives each cheerleader were so darn compelling. You can go look at her photos on Extra Mustard anyway, pervs.
Let’s have a look-see, shall we?
Meta: Strange Things Are Afoot At SI’s Cheerleader Of The Week
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As regular readers of the Sportress are painfully aware of by now, I tend to like to poke fun at the Cheerleader of the Week feature over on Extra Mustard (a wonderful site, I might add) on SI.com. More often than not, it’s mostly good-natured ribbing, other times it’s simply to point out the extremely large breasts of that particular week’s cheerleader.
A few weeks ago, I profiled Lizzie, a cheerleader at the University of Kansas, in a post titled “SI’s Cheerleader of the Week Has A Thing For Guys Who Slap Their Women Around,” and the interesting choice she made for celebrity crush: Chris Brown.
We all know about the terrible things Chris Brown did to Rihanna and I gave the young lady a bit of crap about her crush. If you look back at the post, on September 8th, commenter ChalmersForThree, who must be an acquaintance of Lizzie’s, pointed out that “Actually, Lizzie filled out the SI.com bio sheet in December 2008 (because the photos were taken during the Insight.com bowl), which was before the Chris Brown incident.”
Fair enough.
Today, the Sportress received another comment on the post, this time from binkerman, who stated, “It is advisable to check sources and resources before posting. In the article re: Lizzie’s celebrity crush it says, “My celebrity crush is:Dermot Mulroney”
Now this bugged me. I went a checked the profile of Lizzie and sure as shit, her profile now reads that Dermot Mulroney is her celebrity crush.
I don’t care that they changed it on her behalf. In fact, I applaud it. Someone should have noticed how her answer didn’t look so great nearly 10 months after Lizzie filled out her questionairre.
But I will not be accused of not checking sources (and resources, even!). I may be a cheat, a liar and a terrible writer, but I can tell you one thing: I am not a Communist.
The Folks Behind SI’s Cheerleader Of The Week Probably Like Socialized Medicine Too
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Submitted for your approval is this week’s SI Cheerleader of the Week, Danielle Hilliard. She is a junior majoring in Criminology at the University of…
Western Ontario?? What the fuck? A Canadian college? First of all, I didn’t even know they had colleges in Canada – you know, way up there – but they have cheerleaders too? And from the looks of it, they breed ‘em pretty nice up there.
Good job, Canada.
Sweet fancy Moses.
God bless your wonderful institution of higher learning, Arizona State University. And God bless Sports Illustrated, too. The Lord’s work is truly being accomplished through both of you.
Jesus Christ, with all of this God-blessing, I beginning to feel like I’m turning into Tiny Tim – except in my pants. That’s a different story altogether.
I am pleased as punch to present Lisa Charisse Blanco, a buxom sophomore currently enrolled at ASU majoring in broadcasting/journalism.
Other than that, I really have nothing much to add.
SI’s Cheerleader Of The Week Has A Thing For Guys Who Slap Their Women Around
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May I introduce you to SI’s Cheerleader of the Week, Lizzie Bellinger. She is a senior majoring in journalism at the University of Kansas.
For those of you who frequent the site (thanks Upstate Underdog and White Speed Receiver!), you are no doubt familiar with the usual routine around here when the weekly installment of SI’s profile of a college cheerleader is published. I usually find some defect, usually physical, and hammer away on the poor girl. But this week, it’s different. You see, I can’t find anything wrong with Lizzie. Sure, she’s not the a total knockout, but she’s cute enough. Her defect, however, can be found in her answers, not in her appearance.
Lame: SI Cheerleader Of The Week Lisa Doesn’t Scare Me
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Just when I thought I had those bastards over at SI pegged, they throw me a curveball. As you can see, Lisa, a senior General Science major at the University of Oregon, is a looker and by all accounts appears, well, normal. No wonk eye. No psycho stare. What gives?
For a while there I was beginning to believe that the people in charge of selecting the Cheerleader of the Week were geeky dweebs who were enacting their revenge on the type of girls that tormented them during their high school and college years. But no, they go with Lisa, a perfectly attractive, nicely proportioned, normal, all-American girl.
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Yet Another SI Cheerleader Of The Week Frightens Me
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In what appears to be turning into a developing trend, I am left simultaneously attracted to while completely terrified of SI’s “Cheerleader of the Week.” If I may, allow me to introduce Cambria Kattau, a senior from Northern Arizona University majoring in Elementary Education.
As you can plainly see, like all Cheerleaders of the Week, she is quite fetching: cute as a button, nice smile, great body, the works. However, the photographer didn’t do Ms. Kattau any favors by the way he or she shot her. In fact, it almost seems like the photographer went out of his or her way to accentuate a minor flaw in Cambria’s appearance. You see, Cambria has what they refer to in some circles as – shoot, how can I put this nicely – well, she kind of has a “wonk eye.”
