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The goggles do nothing! Mike Trout’s cleats may cause irreversible eye damage (pic)

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Los Angeles Angels outfielder Mike Trout may be blazing a white-hot path to superstardom as one of the most talented, dynamic and likeable baseball players in the game today, but his new cleats, unveiled on Friday, may be blazing a neon-colored path straight across the rods and cones of unwitting victims, causing immediate and irreparable ocular damage.

The name of the shoe, the Nike Lunar Vapor Trout, is especially fitting on three counts: 1) it contains the ballplayer’s name; 2) The inclusion of the word “Lunar” in the name makes sense given a pair of them probably could be seen from earth if dropped on the surface of the moon; and 3) Vapor is apt description of the ultimate structural condition of a person’s eyes if one gazes upon the shoes for too long.

Just as notable as the potentially eye-scarring color of Trout’s new kicks is that with the shoe’s introduction he becomes the first major league star to have his own signature Nike shoe since Ken Griffey Jr., putting the 22-year-old slugger in some pretty heady company.

Nike touts the the Trout shoe as follows in a press release:

Informed by Trout’s own insights, the Nike Lunar Vapor Trout is designed for the directional speed needed to steal more bases, get to more balls in the outfield, and get out of the batters box quickly. Equipped with a durable, lightweight Nike Lunarlon foam midsole for comfort, the cleat features a split Pebax speed plate for ultra-responsive movement across the field. The midsole also informs a lively aesthetic that captures the spirit of Trout’s game and Nike Vapor technology – sleek, modern, athletic, and extremely fast.

“The biggest challenge for us was balancing the performance characteristics of the shoe,” said Matthew Pauk, Nike Baseball Designer. “Just as Mike does with speed and power, we had to strike the perfect balance between lightweight and comfort, and I think we achieved that with the Nike Lunar Vapor Trout.”

Indeed they have. Although the shoes look like the kind of cleats Radioactive Man would wear if he played Beer League Softball.

A couple more views of the shoes, via Nike.

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Yowsers.

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