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Bills to start selling beer earlier to restore family-friendly environment?

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The Buffalo Bills are in the process of attempting to convince the New York legislature that in order to restore some of the family environment lost over the years at home games at Ralph Wilson Stadium, the team needs to start selling beer earlier on game days.

Wait. What?

It may seem counter-intuitive at best, completely off the rails crazy at worst, but after learning about some of the details concerning the Bills’ hopes that concessions would be able to start selling beer at 11:00 a.m. — current laws dictate that beer sales are not allowed at the stadium before noon — it could mean in the end that there will be far less cretinous and inebriated buffoons polluting the stands with their vulgar language, vomiting and overall antisocial behavior during games.

Saying, “Bills fans seem to have a taste for beer before noon on Sundays,” Assemblyman Sean Ryan (D-Buffalo) is leading the charge in the legislature to pass a bill that would allow beer sales to begin at 11:00 a.m. The logic? If beer is available inside the stadium earlier, perhaps more fans will enter the stadium earlier instead of tailgating outside of it doing beer bongs, Jagerbombs and goodness knows what else, creating a ‘more controlled environment” for alcohol consumption.

“The general purpose is to restore some of the family environment to the stadium and downgrade a little bit of the emphasis on tailgating,” Ryan told The Buffalo News.

Ryan introduced the one-paragraph bill on Tuesday.

Not only would it possibly give rise to a lower incidence of totally schnockered fans stumbling into the stadium, it would allow fans to enjoy the stadium renovations.

“This would enable fans to enjoy more of the pregame atmosphere inside the newly renovated stadium, which will include the new interactive fan experiences and dining options that were previously unavailable to fans,’’ Ryan added.

But in the end, here’s what it would do: Put more money in the pockets of the Bills, something that no doubt would be viewed upon positively by any potential new Bills owner … even that damn Jon Bon Jovi … thus making remaining in Buffalo and not moving to Toronto a more attractive option. Genius!

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