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Blatant Homerism

Metrodome urinal troughs for sale, said to work great as beverage coolers???

metrodome-urinal-troughs

With the Minnesota Vikings set to play in a brand new fancy stadium beginning in 2016 — the team will play in the Minnesota Gophers’ TCF Bank Stadium for the next two seasons — the Metrodome, arguably one of the ugliest stadiums in the history of stadiums, thankfully was razed and demolished to make way for the new stadium, removing a decades-long blight on the Minneapolis skyline.

As the Metrodome was demolished, several items that may hold some nostalgic value for fans were saved. Among the many items that have been put up for sale — the seats, some signs, swaths of the dome’s roof and other assorted stuff —  the most recent group of items made available most certainly have to be the strangest by a long shot, not to mention the nastiest, grossest and most vile piece of stadium-related memorabilia ever.

But if you have hoped to own a piss trough from a since-demolished stadium, urine luck, as the ones that use to host legions of drunken men emptying their bladders of beer in far-too-close proximity are now for sale.

Some details on the urinal troughs, via the auction website, k-bid.com:

Stainless Steel Trough from Metrodome Restrooms. Work great for livestock feeders or beverage coolers. There are multiple lengths of troughs available. We have 8′, 10′, 11′, and 12′. All measure 2′ H x 14″ D. All units have (2) drains in them. Condition of units vary, some have minor dents and dings from the removal process. First come, first serve on pickup day. Bidders responsibility to load items. Bring help for loading.

As noted above, the listing notes that the urinal troughs would work great as livestock feeders or beverage coolers. Livestock feeders I can see, but there isn’t enough bleach or industrial strength sanitizers in the world —  the troughs reportedly have been disinfected — for me to accept a can or bottle out of something that had urine being drained into it — and all over it (more on that later) by millions of men over the period 30 years.

At the time of this post, the top bid is sitting at $105.00, and there appear to be many of the troughs available, so don’t give up hope if you miss out on the first one.

metrodome-urinal-troughs-2

But would-be buyers beware as the auction ends on this very day. What a wicked pisser to just be learning about this now, right?

Oh, and about the mention above about piss being pissed all over these things: Much like what has occurred or occurs in front of every other urine trough in every other stadium in the world, men typically are not the most careful when relieving themselves in front of such a large receptacle.

I speak from experience as it relates to the troughs at the Metrodome. On a personal note that may be too much information, many years ago, I happened to be using one of these very troughs when a drunken ingrate sidled up next to me and proceeded to sloppily let loose. Suffice to say, it didn’t end well for me, especially as it related to the bottom of my pants. Let’s just finish up this unsanitary story by stating that from that point forward, more often than not I’d exercise extreme caution when using a trough or wait for stall.

Yep, I was scarred for life by some inebriated idiot. So, no, I won’t be bidding on this particular item, even though I’d love to disgust guests at my next barbecue by informing them that they are putting their mouths on a can or bottle of beer chilled in something once used as a group toilet serving multiple generations of males.

[Pioneer Press]

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