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Minor League Baseball

El Paso Chihuahuas introduce team’s new nightmare fuel mascot (photo/video)

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There was a time not too long ago when the introduction of a team’s new mascot — be it for a pro, semi-pro, or college team — typically would involve the unveiling of a cuddly creature, an anthropomorphic entity that adults could enjoy and kids would adore.

Not anymore. The most recent nightmare fuel mascot to be unleashed upon the unwitting masses comes courtesy of the El Paso Chihuahuas, the Triple-A affiliate of the San Diego Padres.

The Chihuahuas are beginning their first season in the Pacific Coast League after moving from Tucson and re-branding the organization after changing its name from the Padres. That meant the team had carte blanche to come up with a new identity, specifically when it came to creating a new logo (above) and a new team mascot.

Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce to you Chico the Chihuahua.

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GAH! Good lord, man!

As you can see, Chico is some kind of hell-spawned demon dog, perhaps descended directly from the lineage of Cerebrus, although at some point the particular breed that Chico belongs to lost two of Cerebrus’ three heads. That makes him less terrifying, to be sure, but there remains plenty going on that could cause wee ones nightmares. Look at the demonic red eyes, the sinister way in which Chico bears his teeth. Chilling stuff.

Alternatively as a means to describe Chico, how about the argument that this is what happened to the Taco Bell Chihuahua when he lost his endorsement gig and plunged into a downward spiral of drug and alcohol addiction? Yo quiero Nightmare Fuel, indeed.

Perhaps as a way to soften Chico’s image, the Chihuahuas also released a video where Chico engages in some mundane office work. You know, working at a desk, making copies, traumatizing his coworkers, that kind of stuff.

As noted above, Chico joins a growing list of disturbing mascots recently introduced by teams. First it was the New Orleans Pelicans who terrified their fans and the world alike with Pierre, although the team ultimately manufactured a scenario where Pierre required radical reconstructive surgery, a move that left the mascot much less freaky-deaky.

Next came Otey the Swamp Possum, the backwoods mascot of minor league baseball’s Arkansas Travelers.

So let this be a cautionary tale, friends. If one of your favorite teams announces its intent to introduce a new mascot? Be afraid. Be very, very afraid.

[H/T Big League Stew]

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