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David Ortiz hits home run, takes 32.91 seconds to round bases, a new record (video)

It cannot be denied that David Ortiz’s home run on Wednesday night was amazingly clutch. After all, Big Papi’s three-run homer erased a 2-1 deficit and proved to the game-winning hit in giving the Boston Red Sox a 4-2 victory over the Texas Rangers.

It can, however, be argued that Ortiz took an excruciatingly long time to round the bases following his clutch homer. So much so, in fact, that he actually broke a record.

According to measurements from Wezen-Ball’s Tater Tot Tracker, Ortiz took an astounding 32.91 seconds to complete his circling of the bases, breaking the previous record of 3156 seconds held by Bobby Abreu by an amazing 1.5 seconds. That’s commitment to a slow, leisurely cruise, folks.

Tater Tot Tracker has been, um, tracking home run trots since 2010 and reports that last season, Ortiz had seven of the ten slowest round-tripper trots last season, indicating that Ortiz tends to circle the bases slower than molasses moves in January, as the old saying goes.

Ortiz may be getting up there in years and may not be as spry as he used to be, but to take nearly 33 seconds to round the bases borders on the absurd. That goes far beyond taking one’s sweet-ass time to admire one’s power-hitting prowess.

It’s ultimately difficult to determine what is crazier: That Ortiz broke the record for the longest home run trot or that the duration of home run trots are actually measured. A little bit of both, I suppose.