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Oklahoma Sooners self-reports excessive consumption of free pasta by student-athletes

light-fettuccine-alfredo

A report published by The Oklahoman on Wednesday more than abundantly details just how far universities are compelled to go in order to self-report possible infractions before the NCAA lowers the boom on a school.

In a detailed laundry list, the Oklahoma Sooners athletic department apparently reported each and every minor incident involving the baseball team, the football team, the basketball teams, etc. that could be viewed as a rules infraction, from the seemingly benign, semi-serious, all the way to to the borderline absurd … and at least one that went far beyond the realm of ridiculous into the world of forehead-slapping absurdity.

To wit: Oklahoma self-reported that three student-athletes ate too much free pasta at a function.

May 10, 2013

Violation: Three current student-athletes received food in excess of NCAA regulation at a graduation banquet. The three had graduated from the school but returned for an additional season of competition. The players were provided pasta in excess of the permissible amount allowed. Resolution: The three were required to donate $3.83 each (the cost of the pasta serving) to a charity of their choice in order to be reinstated. The department provided rules education to applicable athletics department staff members.

As noted in a post from Eye on College Football, as stupid as it may sound — make that as stupid as it is — excessively overt oversight is the sign of the times.

As NCAA bylaws expert John Infante has pointed out on Twitter, this particular tasty tidbit isn’t necessarily a case of NCAA rules gone loco as much as “uncommon vigilance” on the part of an Oklahoma compliance department doing some preventive maintenance in the event of a larger investigation.

But all this because of an extra serving of pasta? Come on, man. Unless it was Fettuccine Alfredo. That creamy and buttery indulgence is worth its weight in gold. In a manner of speaking. But only if it was the good stuff, made with heavy cream. And you better believe it better have Parmigiano-Reggiano in it, not that Kraft stuff. Otherwise, for just some ordinary plate of warmed-over, buffet-style crap? Please.

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