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Roger Goodell doesn’t smoke dope and he’s got the clean drug tests to prove it


NFL commissioner Roger Goodell gave his annual “State of the League” address and somehow managed to work in a joke or two in what normally is an otherwise bland affair.

Among the many topics addressed by Goodell during his presentation was marijuana and how its legalization in two states — which happen to be the homes of the Denver Broncos and Seattle Seahawks — may impact the future of NFL drug testing policy, specifically as it relates to weed.

Goodell was asked whether he is drug-tested and that’s when the Commish showed off his humorous side.

Via Shutdown Corner:

“I am randomly tested, and I am happy to say that I’m clean,” Goodell said, drawing a solid chuckle from the gathered crowd.

Zing! And then he segued right into a riff on Cheech & Chong’s “Dave’s Not Here” bit. Okay, that didn’t happen. It also merits noting — in light of the title above — that no, Goodell wasn’t holding vials of his own clean urine, free of any traces of marijuana any other illicit drug. That would have been kooky.

Goodell returned to a serious tone when asked if the league would change its stance on marijuana if research showed that it would help in treating the long-term side effects of concussions. While he acknowledged he and the NFL will keep an open mind, he doesn’t envision any drastic changes to the league’s drug policies anytime soon.

“This has been something that has been asked several times, and I’ll try to be as clear as I possibly can: It is still an illegal substance on a national basis,” Goodell said. “It’s something that’s part of our collective bargaining agreement with our players. It’s questionable with respect to the positive impact, but there is certainly some very strong evidence to the negative impacts, including addiction and other issues.

“We’ll continue to follow the medicine. Our experts right now are not indicating we should change our policy in any way; we are not actively considering that at this point and time. But if it does down the road some time, that’s something we would never take off the table if we could benefit our players at the end of the day.

“So I don’t see any change in the near future.”

Man, talk about harshing everyone’s mellow. And Goodell had everyone wrapped around his figure with his drug-free drug humor.