The Miami Marlins, despite a brand new ballpark, have failed to overcome fan apathy in South Beach and convince folks it is worth their time and hard-earned money to place their butts in the seats at Marlins Park. Losing can have that adverse effect.
And that’s despite the fact that the ballpark features the most obnoxious, garish and ridiculous sculptures in the history of baseball stadiums. Yep, the Home Run Sculpture, which of course features dancing flamingos, diving marlins and other assorted bits of over-the-top absurdity.
The Marlins average about 17,400 fans per game, worst in the majors. But let’s not accuse the Marlins from, um, trying to pique the interest of their fans. How? By reportedly planning to hold a “Legends of Wrestling Night” at the ballpark.
In the immortal words of Mean Gene Okerlund: “Ooh oh my!”
That’s right, according to Biz of Baseball’s Maury Brown, on Aug. 24, the Marlins will trot out some of the greatest names of professional wrestling from days gone by, including but not limited to the following sports entertainment, er, entertainers: Bret “The Hitman” Hart, Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart, Greg “The Hammer” Valentine, Jimmy “Mouth of the South” Hart, Koko B. Ware, Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake.
What? No Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat? What the heck?
Bill Goldberg apparently will be the wrestling legend afforded the honor of throwing out the first pitch. If some aging wrestler on hand doesn’t have the wherewithal to sneak up behind Goldberg and smash him over the head with a steel chair, I’ll be sorely disappointed.