Zoinks! At long last, the Atlanta Braves remove cursed locker from clubhouse
Perhaps finally accepting that no amount of good could overcome all the bad mojo that seemingly has afflicted players who have occupied it, the Atlanta Braves finally removed a locker believed to be cursed from the team’s clubhouse at Turner Field.
According to a report in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, when the team arrived at Turner Field after spring training, the locker’s sinister presence was no more, and the space it previously haunted had been replaced by a cubicle featuring a desk and computer that Braves players can use to secure complimentary tickets to home games.
But before the evil forces were more or less exorcised by its removal, the toll it took on innocent Braves players — from the shattering of confidence, the laying waste of productivity to ultimately, the demise of some careers — has been severe and well-documented.
The locker, originally located next to Braves legend Greg Maddux, claimed its first victim in 1997, the first year of Turner Field’s existence. Jeff Blauser used the locker that inaugural season, signed with the Chicago Cubs the following year as a free agent and was out of baseball just a year later. Man, between keeping his stuff in a cursed locker and then moving on to a cursed franchise, Blauser had no chance.
Livian Hernandez was the most recent regular season victim of the dastardly and dreaded locker stall. After a long MLB career, Hernandez’s fate was sealed after only 18 relief appearances during the 2012 season, when the Braves released him. No one has heard from him since. Jinkies!
Okay, people have probably heard from him, but after catching on with the Milwaukee Brewers last season after his release, Hernandez has yet to catch on with another big league ball club. Freaky deaky.
And there’s much, much more (via The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, via Hardball Talk).
In 2011, four players spent time in the locker. The others after Hernandez: Joe Mather (released), Jordan Schafer (traded to Houston in July), Cristhian Martinez (demoted to the minors midseason).
Among the previous players assigned to the locker: Bret Boone, Robert Fick, Wally Joyner, Ken Caminiti, Albie Lopez, Damian Moss, Chris Seelbach and Joe Nelson.
A notable exception, one player to last more than a season in the locker was pitcher Kenshin Kawakami. But his career went into a tailspin in his second season and he spent the entire third season of his three-year contract at Double-A Mississippi, accompanied by his Maserati and his interpreter.
Yep, that’s some pretty convincing evidence that this locker was damned and became the epicenter of dark power from beyond the World of Man, cursing any and all who were unfortunate enough to come into contact with it. What say you, Greg Maddux, the man who occupied the stall next to the haunted locker?
Nah, just kidding. That’s actually just Maddux’s Twitter avatar. Which I don’t know makes it better or worse.
[image via For Love of the Braves]