If one were to attempt to put an overall label on the season thus far for the Los Angeles Lakers, perhaps “soap opera” would be most fitting. Cluster[expletive] may also be an apt description, but I only chose to use that profane label because I just finished watching the video of Kobe Bryant in which he drops “mother[expletive]” and it got me in the mood for some f-bomb action.
Kobe was in a jovial mood — perhaps more than he should have been — following the Lakers’ narrow escape on Tuesday night when the team edged the New Orleans Hornets by a score of 111-106. The reason it is suggested that Kobe perhaps shouldn’t have been in such high spirits is in light of the fact that the Lakers had to hold on despite leading by 18 midway through the fourth quarter.
Be that as it may, a talkative and affable Kobe Bryant was what resulted and was on full display in the team’s postgame locker room.
In his last three games — all Lakers wins, it is worth noting — Kobe has become much more of a distributor than a shooter. As Ball Don’t Lie points out, Bryant has taken only 34 shots, a paltry number for Kobe, but has dished out 39 assists.
This prompted a reporter to enter into a line of questioning regarding Kobe’s point-guard-like acumen of late, which led Bryant into a discussion about how he would have fared had he focused more on being a point guard during his storied NBA career.
As transcribed by BDK:
Reporter: Is this is as enjoyable, what you’re doing now, where scoring is second?
Yeah, because you’re seeing everybody else gain confidence from it, play well off of it — first and foremost, that’s really what I enjoy. And then, secondly, because most of you guys thought I couldn’t do it. So that’s pretty fun.
Is this something that you could grow perhaps to love as much as scoring?
I can do it, man — I’m like Neo out this mother[expletive]. Yeah, I enjoy doing it. Like, when I prepare for each game, I look strategically at where the defense is going to be coming from, how to put guys in the right place to be successful. Y’know, my idol was Magic [Johnson] growing up, man, and I just so happened to not grow to 6’9″. After that, once I realized I wouldn’t be 6’9″, man, that was the end of that dream.
If you had really wanted it, how good a point guard do you think you could’ve ended up being?
What, you think I’m gonna sit here and say I wasn’t gonna be the best? [My strengths would've been] exactly what you’re seeing tonight, man. That’s what it would’ve been. When I focus in on something, I become obsessed about it, and I want to be perfect at it. That’s just my personality. So if I was to be a point guard, I’d just obsess over it and wouldn’t stop until I get it absolutely right.
Is it what you’re obsessed about now?
“Can’t you tell?”
Sure, a Matrix reference is solid and certainly illustrates the message Kobe was trying to get across, but there are definitely better movie references — films about basketball — Kobe could have opted to use instead to make the point just as clearly. Why not a nod to Juwanna Mann? Or how about a solid Teen Wolf reference? And he still could have busted out some blue language if he wished. For instance, “I’m like Scott Wolf in Teen Wolf, I’ll make some sweet dimes and then get in on some Boof that I so richly deserve.”
Oh, wait. Boof was the chick’s name, not a profanity. Well, it is kind of a profanity, but…you know what I mean.