A recent listing uploaded to Denver Craigslist purports to be offering up — for the rock bottom price of $1, mind you — a pair of panties that the seller claims to have been signed by Denver Broncos wide receiver Demaryius Thomas.
I imagine there are countless listings on Craigslist all over this land where the poster of the listing is attempting to sell different sorts of odd sports memorabilia — some perhaps real, but often likely not — but this one certainly ranks high up there in terms of the oddity of it all, and let’s be honest, the relative nastiness, no matter the legitimacy or authenticity off the undergarment.
There they are, in all their panty-rific glory.
Since I cannot do the listing justice, here is the guy’s run-on-sentence-of-a-sales-pitch in its entirety, save for the seller’s phone number, which is listed:
Warn and haven’t been washed obviously because of signature! Broncos player Demaryius Thomas #88 signed these panties for my girl and we broke up and I still have them I’m looking to see what I can get for them and this is his real signature he was drunk and these panties are small so they are hard to right on call or text anytime
Indeed. Sure, the unwashed nature of the panties makes sense and is worth mentioning, but still, ugh. But let me “worn” you of one thing: The “haven’t been washed” component isn’t necessarily a good thing. Gross.
And not only the misspelling of “warn,” is wrong with this listing. Perhaps I should “right” this guy a quick note about the importance of correct spelling in listings in order to tickle a prospective purchaser’s buying bone. Not that much will be needed with the $1 asking price.
Still, you gotta love Craiglist. Where else can a person cruise personal ads, purchase a pair of unwashed panties allegedly signed by an NFL wide receiver and attempt to sell an unneeded dresser in a listing some criminal cretin will utilize as a means to case your home for a later burglary? What a site!
[H/T The PostGame]