For any kind of small business — restaurant, auto parts store haberdashery, what have you — based in Chicago back in 1991, Bulls star Michael Jordan obviously would have been its dream endorser. Unfortunately for these local businesses, MJ likely wouldn’t even let them touch the hem of his garment, let alone agree to pimp their product.
Thankfully for these Chicago-based businesses, Scottie Pippen was there to pick up the scraps.
Thankfully for the internet, we have evidence of one of Scottie’s forays into low budget advertising. In this particular ad, which has been making the rounds since 2007 (but it’s new to me, perhaps it will be new to you), Pippen touts the goodness that is the six-foot sub from Mr. Submarine. And hoo boy, there’s a whole lot of awkwardness going on in the spot.
Oh. My. Goodness. There is so much delightfully amusing stuff going in this commercial. Pippen’s wooden “acting.” Pippin dribbling up to the six-foot sub that is miraculously standing all on its own. Scottie sitting cross-legged on the floor of a basketball court with Kim and Cheryl from the Chicago Lovabulls mowing on some tasty subs. The ad closing with Pippen dunking a basketball turning into a sub in some real low-tech special effects. All gold.
But the pièce de résistance of the brilliant ad? When Scottie says, “This is one six-footer I can’t handle one-on-one” before turning to the Lovabulls to say, “Ladies, let’s have a party.” It doesn’t get much better than that. You know, in a terrible, awkward and hilarious kind of way.